


Vilify Me

by balloonRabbit



Category: Shatter Me Series - Tahereh Mafi
Genre: BAMF Ella Sommers, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Ella Sommers!AU, Emmaline is a bitch and we love her for it, F/M, Flashbacks, Found Family, I might add more tags later, Implied Torture, NaNoWriMo 2019, basically ella and emmaline were raised by their biological parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2020-01-05 04:03:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18358223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/balloonRabbit/pseuds/balloonRabbit
Summary: "I didn't want to see what would happen if someone stood against Emmaline. Not even me."Ella Sommers has become a human weapon. Having the power to kill without even a touch, she can't outrun the Reestablishment's plans for her. Nor does she want to. But as scars accumulate, a storm is brewing and Ella must choose whether to side with the power she's always believed in or fight for a brighter future. For everyone.―Alternate Universe! where Ella and Emmaline were raised as children of the Supreme Commander of Oceania, and everything that happened after.





	1. "Allow me to introduce myself."

**Author's Note:**

> this fanfiction has been sitting in my documents for well over a year (roughly when Restore Me came out). i wanted to write my interpretation of ella, the person juliette would have been had she been raised as the child of a supreme commander; and gotten the opportunity to have not only her sister as support and competition, but also got to have a real childhood friendship with warner.  
> since Defy Me is out and i have read it, most of this is as canon compliant as i could get it.
> 
> italics are flashbacks from roughly a couple years ago. before ella and warner are romantically involved.

> **vilify** v.
> 
> 1\. to lower in estimation or importance

_All the children of the Supremes spent time away from home, visiting each other on the regular, it was a much needed break for their parents and good for networking. And when you were young and sick of being treated like test monkeys, a little bit of freedom never hurt._

_Emmaline was one of the older kids, alongside Haider and Warner. So she grew out of the visiting trips earlier then I did. Instead she became obsessed with getting ahead and learning everything she could about everything. She didn’t have time for her little sister or taking a small flight to another continent every weekend. I understood, maybe not then, but eventually._

_Sometimes I still think about how different she would have been had she opened up more, if not to me then to the rest of us. But I suppose we really were outliers, when it all came down to it.  
Emmaline was untouchable, in a metaphorical way, she was not only going to inherit our mother’s title as Supreme Commander of Oceania, but she was also the strongest Unnatural on the planet. The scientists always got it wrong, they downplayed her power so frequently in order to raise mine up, but I wasn’t as strong as her. It seemed like I was the only one who realized that. _

_I didn’t want to see what would happen if someone stood against Emmaline. Not even me._

* * *

The warmth of morning became overbearing the later after dawn I waited to get up. My conditioned body still continued to rouse me at five o’clock sharp, before even the sun had decided to get up. But I was on vacation, or the closest thing to vacation I could get, so there was no way I was going to leave this bed until at the very least eight in the morning. 

“Ella, love.”

His voice was quiet, so quiet I could have ignored it, but he placed a hand on my shoulder to shake me awake. His palm was frigid. I jumped a foot into the air and rolled across the bed, hugging the sheets to my chest.

Aaron Warner stood before me on the other side of the bed wearing his usual ensemble of immaculate clothing. His surprise at my reaction quickly turned to amusement, he looked as if it physically pained him to restrain his laughter at my antics. I gave him a sidelong glare before laying myself down once again, but on his pillow.

“Are you going to get up before noon?”

“Excuse you,” I said. “ _Some_ people like to sleep in.”

I listened intently as he moved around the room. The fabric under my chin was cold and smelled faintly of soap and little much else. He probably hadn’t slept for very long at all, and I could vaguely remembered he’d come to bed late too.

“Did you even go to sleep last night?” I turned my head up, but found he wasn’t where he’d been before. I sat up on the bed and found him bringing in a tray covered in metal containers that I knew to be military issued meals. “Breakfast in bed? Don’t spoil me or I’ll never leave.”

Warner place the tray on my lap, the quirk to his lip hadn’t disappeared just yet. I hesitantly opened the first dish to find fruits chopped into squares, the others had what looked to be eggs and ham and some kind of baked bread. I picked up the cup of coffee placed off to the side and held it up to my lips, watching Warner as he watched me from his seat on the edge of the bed. 

He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, “I will admit I didn’t sleep as long as I could have, but I am still expected to work while you’re here.”

“Responsibilities, I’m familiar.”

“Yes, precisely,” Warner laughed. “As for breakfast; no crumbs in my bed.”

He watched and waited as I partook in the food laid before me. I wasn’t a huge fan of eating, food equaled energy and energy gave me the ability to use my body properly and that was all there was to it. Maybe that was something the Reestablishment had trained into us, to only see things in terms of power. If you didn’t get a benefit from something then it had no use, and therefore it could be thrown away as simple as that. Food, people, it was all the same in the Reestablishment’s eyes. 

“What’s the agenda for today?” I asked between mouthfuls of bread.

“I have another meeting in an hour, and I have to visit the compounds around 1400 hours.” He eyed the bread with disdain, “The in between time I am all yours.”

“How generous.”

“Do you plan to be sarcastic for the rest of the morning?”

I sigh reproachfully. In truth I wasn’t surprised in the slightest that he was busy. Warner’s father like to pile up work in Sector 45 more than any of the others, just to get a rise out of his son, and especially when he knew I was visiting. I could beat the old man black and blue for just that alone. 

I wasn’t surprised, but I was disappointed. There honestly wasn’t much to do on base without Warner around. I did come to North America purely to see him, more often than not. 

I could easily do my own work from the comfort of my own home. 

“Are you alright?” He said, with a hint of worry, “What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing,” 

He raised an eyebrow. 

“The only reason I don’t want to tell you is because it’s obsolete. You’ll feel guilty and that will make me feel even worse.” I said, “I miss _you_ and I want to spend as much time with you as I can. But I hardly know what to do with myself here when you’re gone.”

Warner winced, confirmed my fear that he’d take the burden of my discomfort onto himself. “You could join me during work―?”

“And distract you the entire time.”

“There isn’t an easy solution.”

I picked the tray up out of my lap and wiggle my legs out of the blanket. The carpet was cool under my bare feet as I walked over to the table and set the empty tray atop it. It’s only when I’d crossed halfway over the room that I realized how chilly it was in this room without trousers. I pulled on the bottom threads of my shirt as I headed back to the bed, Warner’s eyes never left me as he sat quietly, waiting. And I only had to meet his gaze once before he was fixating on the far wall. 

Ever in full control of temptation.

“I know there isn’t, that’s precisely why I didn’t want to mention it.” I stood in front of him so our knees touched, his expensive black polyester against my skin. “Beside, I come here to escape from all the military talk, your board meetings would give me hives.”

He laughs, but it’s restrained. His hands hesitantly test the waters and reach out to me. Which I oblige by lacing our fingers together and sitting myself on his lap with my legs pinned on either side of him. It only takes a moment of surprise before his dimples are on full display and he uses his grip on my arm to drag me in closer, while the other unlatches itself to cradle around my waist and keep me secure in place. 

“So you’ll quietly wait for me to return and absolutely not cause trouble in which I will have to fix,” Warner said, “right?”

I winked, kissed his cheek, and replied. “Of course.”

* * *

_“When was the last time you heard from Warner?”_

_Emmaline never did beat around the bush, she’d waltzed in my bedroom and slammed the door closed behind her. I placed the book I had been annotating down and tried my hardest to project my annoyance into the air between us._

_“Awhile ago,” I hissed. “Why?”_

_She shrugged. I watched as she wandered around my bedroom, the walls painted a pale pink, the mature version of what had originally been the color scheme for our shared bedroom when we were children. In Emmaline’s own bedroom, I’d find almost an identical spread of pastel purple. Mum had always loved coordination._

_“Emma, seriously, if you’re just here to bother me get out.”_

_Her fingers glided along my bookshelves. Objects that Dad had told me to throw out months ago, the Reestablishment saw no need for literature of any kind. I wondered if Emmaline shared his sentiments, she’d always been so complacent._

_Finally, my sister turned to look at me point-blank. “I’m just trying to look out for you.”_

_“Then get to the point.”_

_“Nazeera told me today that Warner and Lena are together.”_

_I stood up._

_“Like, he’s staying in Europe?”_

_I could briefly register my heart picking up speed inside my chest. My brain racing to keep up, sorting through every conversation we’d ever had on the topic of Lena. Warner didn’t share many sentiments about being around the other Supreme kids. Had he ever even brought Lena up before?_

_Emmaline sighed. “Els, you know what I mean.”_

_“He would have told me.”_

_“You said it yourself,” she turned back towards the door. “You haven’t heard from him in awhile, maybe things change.”_

* * *

I went back to bed before I caused havoc. Warner could do with a rest from any of my particular antics, despite what he might believe, I didn’t enjoy making his life harder. I just got bored. In any case, he was lucky his bed was so comfortable.

When I finally rolled out of the red sheets and dressed properly it was already midday. The shower was hot and the water was sharper then back home, but the smell of the soap and the fabric of the towels was comforting. Sometimes it scared me how at home I felt in North America, how much time I’d spent on the other side of the world. Something my sister never understood.

In the corner of Warner’s closet there was a place for my clothes, personally picked out by him, and all perfected to my own tastes. I didn’t like Anderson’s dresses, or the shorts and sleeveless shirts my parents insisted I wore. The Reestablishment liked to remind people I was a weapon. Remind them what one single brush against my shoulder would do. 

When I was younger the power felt nice, but it always turned my stomach to see how maids and nannies would watch me with disdain, even fear. Emmaline got similar looks, but not to the same caliber. I’d grown to hate the sight of my own skin. Warner had sat through enough of my tears to know that giving me pretty dresses that exposed my legs or frilly shirts that showed my arms and stomach was the worst possible gift he could give me. 

He gave me jeans, leggings, sweaters that came down to my thighs. I had turtlenecks and boots without heels, shirts with sleeves that went past my wrist. They were comfortable and functional, and of course fashionable. He’d given me so many lectures on color theory that at this point I could retell it to myself from memory. 

That was the other feeling that came with vacations at Sector 45. For once, in only one place in time, I could completely be myself. And I could go wherever I pleased.

As in any military base, the decor was minimal and the walls were stark white. The building was as boring as it was tall. I wouldn’t get lost though, most of these bases were carbon copies of each other and I’d grown up in these skyscrapers. And I was going to observe the training rooms, not Warner’s private ones that I refused to visit on unpaid time off, but the soldier’s training rooms. They were the same in context, maybe a little less high-grade and much larger. Any soldier who was off duty went there to work on what they lacked. 

I passed the hallway guards who shot me strange looks. I couldn’t be sure if it was because they recognize me or because they couldn’t believe a five foot three, little girl was walking around base. Anderson didn’t seem to like employing women, did he?

Delalieu noticed me turning the corner and fluttered towards me, “Miss Sommer, is there anything I could do to be of assistance?” He looked wary and anxious, but then again when didn’t he.

“I’m just fine,” I said. “Shouldn’t you be at the meeting with Warner?”

He shook his head, “It’s not that type of meeting.”

Strange.

I moved towards the training room doors, they weren’t the doors that the soldiers came in through as those were connected to the barracks and the dining hall. They were the doors that Warner would enter through when he wanted to observe his soldiers, maybe punish them when they were unassuming. 

Delalieu didn’t so much as stop me, but move towards the door as I attempted to open it. My hands were still bare and I could almost feel the shudder that went through the old man as he saw them revealed against the metal of the handles. The lieutenant's movement caught the eye of the guards and they moved in closer.

“There is no reason to trouble yourself with the soldiers, Miss Sommers.”

I quirked an eyebrow, “Are you hiding something from me?”

“No!” He urgently replied, “Of course not.”

One of the soldiers was leaning in towards the conversation, attempting to be inconspicuous and failing miserably. Who was training these imbeciles? The other actually put a hand on my shoulder and I felt a rush of nausea. 

“What seems to be the problem here?” His voice was deep and booming. The soldier was trying to be intimidating, but I could only be concerned with how much I wish I’d worn short sleeves despite the discomfort. “Well―?”

I grabbed his hand.

The soldier’s knees buckled to the ground as I felt the familiar surge of warmth, of strength. I whipped around and kicked him dead-center in the chest sending him rocketing towards the far wall. A loud sound cut off. He’d been screaming, my ears had tuned it out. 

I rubbed my hand against my jeans. And looked back at Delalieu. 

The guard who had been observing was now straight backed and looking forward like he should have been when I arrived. I scoffed. Delalieu stood out of my way as I opened the metal doors into the training room. They would have all heard the scream. Good, at least then I wouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone again.

* * *

_This side of the compound wasn’t known for being very hospitable. I almost shivered at the feeling that emitted from the grey walls. Dad was leading, five feet in front of me with a higher-up military persona on one side and what looked like a doctor on the other. They expected me to follow as we went down the winding hallways towards the basement level. I was very familiar with the basement level._

_“Alright sweetie,” Dad said._

_He opened a chamber door, it creaked under the pressure. I resisted making any sign of displeasure and merely nodded. Walking in and listening as the door closed behind me the second my feet passed the threshold. I was not afraid. I would not tremble._

_Supreme Commander Anderson was in charge of any and all missions and assignments I was given. In simple terms, he was my boss. And I hated it. He’d given me the same mission since I’d started training under his care at the ripe age of eight years old; obtain information in relation to the rebel groups opposing the Reestablishment’s control._

_The Executioner was in. Ella Sommers was nowhere to be found._

_Before me, tied to a chair in the middle of the room, was a man not much older than me. He had the makings of a beard on his face, though he looked ragged. As if he had been struggling to no avail for hours. Maybe days. I stepped out of the shadows of the corners of the room, so he could see me in full view. I caught his attention immediately._

_What a vision I must have been. A fourteen year old girl in a dress as green as fresh grass, little white sandals, and her hair done into braids on either side of her head. My appearance made me seem as least three years younger than I was. But if I were to stare myself down in a mirror, I would see the storms behind my eyes. I was not a child._

_“Who are you?” The man asked, his voice distinctly accented._

_I cocked my head to the side. “You don’t know me?”_

_He narrowed his eyes. Reassessed myself as I stood before him, I made no threatening movements, but I could see the pulse in his neck jump. He was on edge and didn’t even understand why._

_“Why would I know a little girl?” He gritted his teeth, “What are you doing here, huh?”_

_I’d forced Warner to sit down and watch a nature documentary with me once. He disliked movies, but he preferred anything that had any educational value to the frequent romantic comedies I laid before him. It had been about predators and prey. How the prey could sometimes sense that they were being hunted simply on a whim, but that often it was still not quick enough of a warning to spare them from the predator. It was a biological reaction that ever creature possessed when confronted with a bringer of death._

_“I was under the impression that your organization was looking for me.”_

_The man bit down on his lip. His fear was rising, palpable, as I inched closer._

_“But that’s fine if you don’t know who I am.” I raised a hand, “Allow me to introduce myself.”_

* * *

I found my way to the dining room easily. Warner sat on the far end of the table with a stack of papers in front of him, and two sets of cutlery placed for two people on the table. I found my seat next to him and smiled. He looked up only after a minute of ignoring me.

He looked unimpressed.

“How was your day, my dear?”

“Excellent,” I unfolded my napkin, “and yours?”

Warner blinked and set his papers aside, “Eventful.”

“Do tell,”

“I got a report from my Lieutenant that a guest of mine had debilitated and almost killed one of my men in the middle of a very important meeting with the surrounding sectors.”

I tried my best to look convincingly troubled.

“Ella,”

I wasn’t a very good actress.

“In my defense,” I said, “he touched me first which could very well be seen as an attack.”

There was a bottle of red wine on the table that I picked up and inspected heavily, the label was all but scratched free of any information besides where it came from: _Sonoma, CA_. When I looked up, Warner was staring straight ahead with a confounding expression.

“What are you doing?” I asked, “Stop thinking, Aaron. Don’t you _dare_ \--”

“I’ve come up with a solution.”

My forehead slammed into the porcelain plate. I groaned, and it wasn’t from the newly formed bruise. If only I could find comfort in the dishware. Warner laughed.

“You’re being over dramatic.”

I pushed myself up, squared my shoulders, and took a sip from the wine bottle itself. Warner was leaned back in his chair, watching me with faint amusement, like we we’re playing a game. The bell dinged, signaling that dinner would now be brought in for us. I met his eyes.

“I learned from the best.”

* * *

_Anderson's eyes turned up at me like a glare, "Report on the status of rebel interrogation."_

_"Yes, sir." I met him with a practiced ease. Standing from my chair with a ramrod-straight back and an expressionless face, "The Reestablishment has acquired thirteen rebels as of this month. I have interrogated," tortured, "five of the hostiles."_

_"How many of those were killed by your hand?" The Commander of Europe asks, focused on the papers in front of her and with a voice of disinterest._

_"All five," I responded immediately, "sir."_

_There is a quiet that no one interrupts, not because of the deaths but because of the abject disappointment. They've not heard any of the information I gathered, though they might have read it in the packets of text they seem to be much more interested in flipping through before them._

_"Report." Warner's father repeats with a sternness that makes me want to rip his spine out through his throat. There's a beat, a pause, before I begin._

_"Number of soldiers is inconclusive, it is estimated no more than a thousand within the North American capital. I was able to extract two safe houses which have since then been removed. The central base of operations, known as Alpha Point, I have only been able to obtain generalizations when it comes to location and management."_

_"And why is that?" Its Nazeera's father, the Supreme of Asia, this time. "What reason do you have for not finding this rebel stronghold."_

_My jaw doesn't twitch like I feel it does. There will be no comfort in this room, the Commanders will tear into my failures with promises of punishment if I do not succeed in the future._

_"Rumors, sir."_

_"Rumors?" Anderson's blue eyes have never left my face. I have never flinched in his presence. "What rumors?"_

_I still, turn my chin a little higher, "The Unnaturals know of me by name."_

_There's a commotion. It starts with my parents, I'm unsure if they are outraged by the breach in security or the safety of their own child. I don't turn to see the anger that would be clear upon my sister's face. But unfortunately, I don't have to search far for_ him.

_Over his father's shoulder, Warner's eyes burn with a brand of guilt I'm far too use to. For a moment I feel as though he could swallow me whole with that look. The concern, so tangible, for the first time this meeting my heart is in my throat._

_He makes me worried about my own safety. Only because I couldn't bear to leave him alone here. Even if we aren't speaking currently._

_"Enough," The Commander of Africa slams his stack of papers on the desk. I don't turn to look at him. "Finish the report, Miss Sommers."_

_They don't usually call me Miss Sommers. That is a name reserved for my sister. My big sister, queen of this world and the next. Most powerful Unnatural, next Supreme Commander of Oceania._

_"Yes, sir." I bathe in the silence, "Once the soldiers had realized, individually, of my identity their demeanors had changed."_

_Anderson was back to staring me down, "How?"_

_"Some tried to win my sympathy, those were the ones that relinquished the most information. The others attempted to either provoke me or stay silent. It seemed, although there was no chance of escape, they had wanted to observe my ability."_

_"That's to be expected." I recognized my own mother's voice, "They see her as one of their own, or a betrayer of their own. That will be a good angle to use."_

_It didn't matter if I agreed. "In the end they were disposed of."_

_Anderson laced his fingers together and settled his chin atop them, there seemed to be a flicker of amusement in that gaze. It made my stomach revolt. The way he looked at me like a spectacle, a circus animal for them to cage and abuse when they willed it._

_"Were they impressed?"_

_"Excuse me?" My mask faltered for only a second._

_"Were the rebels, the Unnaturals, were they impressed by your ability when you killed them?" Anderson’s grin was small and quiet. His words rang and bounced across my skull._

_"I believe it was more painful than they had anticipated."_

_Anderson finally settled back into his seat, "Good. The rebels hear of a girl who can kill a man with a touch, they're going to believe it's instantaneous. Prove them otherwise. I want those eight prisoners interrogated and properly disposed of, and as your commanding officer on this task, I want reports written to me before the tenth of next month."_

_And just like that, I was dismissed. I settled back into my seat beside Emmeline and felt as her gloved hand crept across the space between us. It was an offer, a broker for peace, I wouldn't take it. I didn't need comfort. This was my task, the job I was raised for._

_I would not be the weaker sister between the two of us._


	2. "Have some shame, please."

The sunlight didn’t wake me up in the morning. I woke up to the soft brushing of my hair behind my ear and a whisper that said, “Wake up, love.” I pushed my face deeper into the pillow, refusing to respond to the warm presence that’s chin rested on my shoulder.

“It’s time to get up.”

He truly believed that; why was I in love with him again? “If it’s five o’clock and I open my eyes, I’m going to kill you.”

The first thing I saw was his smile as I blinked my eyes opened. They were blurry from the restful night sleep and I had to rub my lids with my free hand, the other was tucked somewhere in the jumble of limbs between the two of us. I glanced up and over at the clock that blinked red eyes out into the darkness of the bedroom. It read _6:01._

I had the unsettling urge to punch him in the face.

“You’re playing with fire.”

“Come,” he kissed my collarbone, “train with me.”

I settled back against the pillow and huffed. He continued, kissing up the slope of my neck and trying to rein in my attention again. I didn’t oblige him. Warner shifted his body over mine, elbows caging me in and holding him above me. I found my left arm and curled it around his bicep. He pecked the corner of my mouth and I had to push down my smile.

He saw it. Warner smiled back, brushed his nose against mine.

“We could stay in bed.”

“We could,” he played with a rogue lock of my hair before brushing it behind my ear. “But taking even one day off can put you behind.”

“And?”

Warner grabbed my arms from where they’d fallen, sprawled out on the sheets, and sat up. He dragged me along with him, “ _And_ we’re going to train.”

I swatted his hands and glared.

The clock was still blinking as Warner watched me with hands drifting to my waist but never really touching. I crossed my arms over my bare chest. Not out of modesty, but because of the morning chill and the embarrassment of having to compare my physicality to Warner yet again. We hadn’t sparred in ages, and that was a worrying thought, purely because he was the only person I couldn’t cheat against.

I was caving, but I wanted so badly to crawl back into his arms and enjoy the heat of his skin. I didn’t want to run or fight, I wanted Warner to rest. Unfortunately I knew him better than that and it was either I stopped lazing around like a spoiled housecat, or he’d leave me behind once again. I groaned and fell back onto the pillows.

“Go, get ready.” He perked up, “I’m right behind you.”

I stretched out my legs and arms, running my fingers through the tangled mess of my hair. Out of impulse, as Warner had already left the bed and gone to his closet, I grabbed my pillow a threw it across the room. There was the sound of fabric ripping and I winched at the implication.

Maybe training was a good idea.

I pulled a robe over my shoulders as I tiptoed to the doorway of the closet. Warner was pulling a grey T-shirt over his chest and I took the opportunity to really look him over. No one could deny that Aaron Warner was gorgeous, especially not me, and no one could deny now and forever that he was mine. I wasn’t a naturally possessive person, but something about just the thought of him being apart of me; something that I could describe as whole mine, made my chest warm.

“Yes, love?”

I met his green eyes and as I leaned my temple against the doorframe, the tiniest smile on my face. And merely shook my head, he could infer whatever he’d like, I was keeping these thoughts to myself.

He watched me quizzitorialy and after a moment I reset. Standing up straight and stretching my arms up over my head, I yawned. Warner didn’t move as I passed him to get to my section of the closet, and I looked for any form of exercise attire I could scrounge up.

When I had properly changed, my brain had also woken up. The fuzzy feelings that encompass my entire being when I woke up wrapped in comfort incarnate had finally passed and now a thin layer of excitement buzzed on my skin. I was nervous, but it wasn’t as if I had taken full months off of the routine that Warner and I had perfected early on into our adolescence, it was just that he’d relied on it more than I did.

Warner had waited until I finished changing before moving towards me with a strange short of caution. His fingers trailed the side of my cheek and I tilted my head up to look at him. His face a blank slate without emotion, I could already feel a pout form on my lips. Thanks to his unknown power, Warner could feel the presence of people around him, myself included. And that presence gave him a free ticketed to show to a person’s inner psyche. He could read me no matter how hard I tried to hide behind a mask. All the while, he could be as transparent or hidden as he wanted.

He pulled my hair away from my face and tied it in a small ponytail behind my head. His palms cupped the sides of my neck as he watched me, even without a change in his expression I could feel the intensity rising just through the electricity in his touch. The sparks in those green eyes. I reached up and grabbed his wrists, holding them there.

“You wanted to train?”

He removed his hands slowly and took my hands from his wrists, “Yes.”

I nodded once and threaded our fingers together. My strength didn’t work on Warner, so unless he truly wanted to follow me, I couldn’t pull all of his weight. But he only held me back for a second before giving in and trailing behind me, letting me drag him towards the elevator. I pressed all the buttons, I closed the doors, I kept my hand in his.

There was nothing in the world like touch. Something that others took for granted, and something I couldn’t afford too. Feeling Warner’s hand in mine was incredible, comforting, he was warm and real and alive. My favorite thing was relishing in my best friend’s company, that was for sure, especially as he’d grown more and more comfortable with staying in constant contact with me. The both of us didn’t have much in way of support and safety with other people, so we’d become that for each other. A literal hands to hold.

“What are you thinking about?

My eyes fluttered open, I hadn’t realized I closed them. “Nothing,” I smiled to myself, “Nothing at all.”

He squeezed my hand in his. I leaned my head on his shoulder as the elevator dinged and the doors opened to the pristine training rooms where I would be forced to exercise against my will. My lip quirked and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.

* * *

_The biannual meeting of the Reestablishment use to be favorite event of mine, before I’d had to actually participate. It was an opportunity to see my friends again, to see Warner again, and to have my parents preen at the improvement of my abilities. When I was five I didn’t know why what I could do would be so useful, of course I couldn’t afford to be that naive anymore._

_So, because of our estrangement, I hated every moment of this idiotic meeting._

_Emmaline and Nazeera had stood on either side of me while our parents socialized. Guarding me from my own best friend, Emmaline had gone as far to swipe his gloves and jacket. She couldn’t have known that that wouldn’t truly deter him from touching me, all he’d have to do was get me alone in a place where cameras couldn’t watch us._

_My skin felt like it was peeling off the more he stared at me, the concern in which he regarded me while his disgrace of a father grilled me on my job. The audacity that they both believed me to be too soft to handle that which I was given._

_Now the conference was over, the circular room was loud with conversation as everyone gathered papers and briefcases, bound for the flight dock to head back home on private planes. I still hadn’t stood up, or grasped my sister’s hand._

_I didn’t have time to gather myself before he was making his way across the floor towards me, his eyes steeled and cold in a way that burned my chest. Warner never looked at me like that, for me he was always expressing, never so locked away behind his mask. Then I glanced behind him and saw Anderson with an annoyed tinge to his jaw. I attempted to swallow, but my throat was too dry, so I finally stood instead._

_Warner stopped in front of me, and Emmaline whipped around as he said my name. My older sister looped her arm with mine, the thick material of her business attire protecting her from my bare skin. I caught her sharp smile from my peripheral, “Warner, lovely to see you.”_

_“Not really.”_

_“No,” Emmaline agreed, “not really. Go on then, she doesn’t want to talk to you.”_

_I stiffened. Warner’s eyes sought me out as if trying to confirm Emmaline’s words and I could feel myself soften. This was the longest we’d gone without contact and I was craving to just hear more of his voice. It had only been four months._

_I patted Emmaline’s arm and whispered, “Give me a second.”_

_“Suit yourself.”_

_She didn’t question it, but I could feel her irritation as she abandoned my side. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, my eyes never leaving him as I moved towards the wooden door that lead to the outside hallways. We couldn’t speak with so many listening ears, I had to be sure his father couldn’t overhear us or interfere. Warner followed close behind me as I wandered down the corridor, past guards that didn’t move, until I found a place without a tiny blinking light in the moulding of the wall._

_“Ella,” Warner spoke when I didn’t move, “love.”_

_“Stop.”_

_So much of myself was exposed, my back and arms bared to him. His ungloved hands felt like less of an insurance and more of a challenge. Warner had to feel it, how much I wanted to stop this pettiness between us and wrap him around me like a security blanket._

_His tone was tender, “Will you look at me?”_

_I hated being told what to do. Slowly, I turned my head for just a glance to see if he was offering vulnerability between us. Or if he’d truly decided to close me off after everything we’d been through._

_“I should have told you, that was wrong of me.”_

_I could taste blood. “I’m not mad about Lena.”_

_He ventured closer and I found myself facing him even though I hadn’t decided to. It seemed a lot of things flew out the window when it came to him. Warner was no longer wearing his mask, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he took in the distressed state of me. I could feel my hands shaking as I crossed them over my chest and hid them beneath my arms._

_“I’m… upset,” my voice wavered, “because you didn’t think you could tell me.”_

_“I—”_

_“Don’t,” maybe Emmaline had been right, maybe I didn’t want to speak with him. “Don’t lie to me Aaron, I know you. I don’t know how you thought I’d react about Lena, I mean I’m surprised, but you don’t actually believe I’d, I don’t know, disapprove or—?”_

_His hands settled on my shoulders. I was electrically charged in a moment, words dying on the tip of my tongue, and all I could think about was the warmth of his skin. The callouses from years of death defying training, something we’d both taken part in. For the first time since Emmaline’s discover, everything was right in the world._

_“You should,”_

_I blinked at him. What had we been talking about? “I should what?”_

_“Disapprove of Lena and I.” That conflicting look on his face was back, he was reading me like a book, but had no idea where the story was going to end. “I don’t want to hurt you. I never did, it was never my intention. My understanding of the arrangement I had with Lena was that,” he worked his jaw, “it was purely physical and nothing more.”_

_I pushed his hands away, “_ Physical _?”_

_“I don’t feel anything for her. I didn’t tell you because it didn’t seem important enough to bother you with, it was just convenience and that’s it.”_

_Warner’s face was cold again, but there was something unhinged in his eyes. He truly believe that the way he was phrasing this was correct and would fix the rifted he’d drawn between us. I was overcome with revulsion, my stomach convulsed at the mere idea of Lena touching him anywhere. He was an idiot, the biggest prick in the world._

_“I can’t talk about this.” I gasped out, “Here.”_

_I held his stolen jacket and gloves aloft between us, but Warner shook his head. “Keep them,” he remained gentle now that he’d defended himself. But Warner still seemed so confused about my difficulty. For someone so intune with emotions, he was so incredibly dense._

_“I’m leaving, don’t follow me.” I nodded curtly to him._

_Walking away from him was the hardest thing I’d done in a long time. Smiling to my sister as I pulled my arms through the sleeves of his jacket and pretended as though things were the same as always just made it that much harder._

* * *

“I _hate_ this,” I gasped. “I _hate_ you, and your muscles, and your _stupid_ power absorbing.”

Warner was unimpressed with crossed arms standing over me. I had been thrown onto the mat minutes ago and hadn’t stood up since. I was too busy whining. My arms and legs were avidly protesting any change in my current position.

“This is why I suggested training,” he said, “you rely too much on your ability alone. At some point you’ll come across an opponent that you can’t beat, and that will be entirely because you never practiced combat naturally.”

“I’m _invincible_ , Aaron.”

“But you aren’t, you’re human. There’s no way of us knowing you won’t come across another Unnatural who can do what I can, or someone who could block your ability entirely. You have to be prepared for that.”

I huffed. He was right, but he didn’t have to remind me. My power, my ability, at this point was my only insurance that the Reestablishment couldn’t hurt me. I was bulletproof, I was untouchable in the most literal sense, as long as my power was intact around me.

I had had eighteen assassination attempts against me.

The Reestablishment would always say it was the rebels. The revolution upset with me as an Unnatural working for the government they saw as their enemy. But there was no way for me to know, they never let me see the bodies. I often went to bed wondering if they had government issued badges on their suits. But those were a child’s nightmares. I didn’t, couldn’t concern myself with them any longer.

I centered my feet and lifted myself up, Warner hid a smile as I got back into my practiced stance. He mirrored me, balancing his weight perfectly and with more ease then I did. Warner was elegant and lithe, I’d grown clumsy and sluggish in my disregard, it was endlessly frustrating.

He swung first. It was easily deflected, but also Warner’s favorite move, a faux punch. He would only put a small percentage of his weight into the swing and whip around the other fist where I would be open from defending from the first blow. But I knew him, I dodged completely and kicked the back of his knee. Warner’s leg collapsed on instinct and pushed him into a roll, getting back to his feet and far enough away that I couldn’t get another hit in before he was out of reach. I squared my shoulders and brought my hands closer to my face.

He was waiting, not hesitating, but unwilling to be make the first move once again. He was pushing me to use more of my limited stamina, I was honestly surprised he wasn’t taunting me. Maybe he was more exhausted then he’d let on. He hadn’t been sleeping long enough, that much I knew. Everyday I’d woken up in Sector 45, he’d been on his way out of bed or already gone with a note somewhere on the pillow beside me. I smirked.

And darted forward.

The elevator doors opened and I ignored the sound. I aimed for his sides, pressure points that would bring him back down to his knees, but it wouldn’t work. He caught and blocked every attack I threw his way, it was a flurry of blows from one to the other. But I wouldn’t attack his face, I wouldn’t be able to look and him and not feel guilt if I managed to mark him worse than a bruise, and on his face of all places.

A man cleared his throat.

Warner got tired of playing chicken and grabbed my wrist out of the air, flipping me over once again. I landed on my back with a thud and groaned in frustration. He was more willing to not throw his punches, that much was for sure. I kicked out at his ankle and watched him wince.

“Litentuent,” Warner greeted.

“I’m sorry, sir, you told me to alert you an hour before the meeting.” Delalieu was shaky and nervous as always, eyes darting to me and back to Warner. Delalieu, as Warner’s litentuent, was one of the three people who knew of Warner’s abilities and more importantly, that he could touch me without consequence.

I shot him a toothy grin, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Miss Sommers.”

Warner gave me a look before drawing back Delalieu’s attention, “I assume the order I gave you was fulfilled?”

“Yes, sir.” Delalieu said, “Your preparations are ready and waiting, at your discretion.”

I narrowed my eyes, I had no clue what they were talking about and it was very clear that they were hiding behind pretty words to keep it from me. Warner gave a curt nod and simply said, “Have it brought to me in an hour from now.”

Delalieu bowed his head once and disappeared back up the elevator as quickly as he had come. Like a scolded child almost, how strange their relationship was. Warner held out a hand to help me to my feet and I took it and dusted off my palms on my leggings. I didn’t say anything as he moved to the towel rack and wiped his brow. I sighed, audibly, if he wouldn’t tell me now he’d tell me later.

“Best two out of three?”

Warner deadpanned, “We need to take a shower, love.”

I blinked in surprise before a smirk found its way across my lips. I danced around him as he drank from one of the water bottles that had been kept down here for when he trained, and I waited until he swallowed before narrowing my eyes in a playful way.

“ _We_?” I asked, “You said we.”

“Yes.”

“Aaron Warner, do you want to shower with me?”

When the relationship between us had first started it was all fear and miscommunication, we’d been best friends practically since before I could talk, but we couldn’t stop ourselves from making everything complicated when it came to true feelings.

It was known, by both of us, that Warner had more experience in relationships then I did. Though I did tend to read more about them, Warner had dated Lena Mishkin, the daughter of the Supreme of Europe, shortly. His reasoning for that little fluke of a relationship was complicated and I didn’t like to think too much on it, else I’d probably lose my mind at some point. It didn’t matter in the end.

Warner, in the beginning, had been the one to show me the ropes so to speak. We were both physical people, entirely because we’d been unable to connect with others like everyone else. Me, being unable to touch and Warner, being unable to communicate. We balanced each other out.

And it was my goal in life to keep his face in a perpetual state of bright pink. 

“Ella,” his voice was warning as I reached my arms around his waist. 

My hands came up under his shirt, so I could feel the heat of his skin on my fingertips, the taunt muscle and scars that lined his back, he didn’t move away. Finally, with my chin on the center of his chest, I looked up at him to see the warring emotions on his face.

“I’m not sure why I let you stay here when all you do is tempt me away from work.” Warner sighs, “We can’t, you know that. There isn’t enough time.”

I pursed my lips, standing up on the balls of my feet to meet his eyes. “Enough time for what?” Warner’s eyes darkened. I liked teasing him, I liked watching him while he made a decision, I liked being the focus of his undivided attention.

“There isn’t enough time,” he spoke quieter than a whisper, “for everything I want to do to you.”

Warner’s hands came up to cup the sides of my face with a gentleness that made my blood sing. He never broke eye contact and that familiar intensity was back at full power. Sometimes I wondered if the added energy of my ability that rippled between us every time we touched made things all the more overwhelming. It was like our emotions back palpable, I could feel him under my fingers and but also inside my chest and swimming around my head like a thick perfume.

He leaned down and my eyes fluttered closed on instinct. But his lips only brushed the crown of my head as he pulled his fingers through my short hair, and stepped back.

“Go upstairs.”

I blinked my eyes opened, narrowed them at his serious expression. Warner wasn’t going to be swayed this time. I knew I was pouting as I backed out of the training room and towards the elevator doors. I was waiting to see if he’d change his mind and call me back, but the tension in his posture led me to assume he was restraining himself from doing just that. I rolled my eyes and turned my back on him.

If he was going to keep secrets and give orders, then I wasn’t going to give him the pleasure of my availability after he’d already made a decision. The moment had passed.

* * *

_Emmaline sat down beside me on my bedspread as I played with the cuffs of my now-stolen jacket. It was a few sizes too big and hung around me like a blanket. We’d gotten off the plane and landed in home sweet home only hours ago. The conversation I’d had with Warner, the tension, was just now registering in my head._

_My sister wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against her neck as she ran her fingers through my hair in an attempt to comfort me. While my sister didn’t have the emphatical six sense that my best friend had, she was well equipped with what amounted to mind reading._

_I was just glad that her touch reaffirmed the belief that she wasn’t afraid of me._

_“You don’t need him,” she murmured._

_Deep down, I knew she meant it in the nicest way possible. Emmaline, the prodigy of the Reestablishment, the person who truly didn’t need anyone or anything. She was powerful in isolation, she was stronger than me and that became more and more apparent the longer I strayed into her world of politics and policies. Her ministrations continued through the long strands of my hair, her eyes fixated on the wall._

_“He should have told you at the very least.”_

_“Why do you think he didn’t?” I straightened to look at her, “He said it was because he didn’t think it was all that important—”_

_Emmaline scoffed._

_“—And while that sounds like something he’d do, I don’t know. I feel like it’s an excuse, like he was trying to stop me from acting out.” The jacket around me felt that much heavier, “It’s not like he’s_ mine _, like I have some claim on him. It’s not like I would get jealous.”_

_My sister didn’t look at me. I was tempted to snap my fingers in front of her face._

_“Out with it, Emma.”_

_She sighed, “That’s not entirely true, what you said, is it?”_

_My face must have betrayed my confusion, or she was digging around in my head, because her annoyance seemed to grow. Emmaline released my side and turned to face me as if we were going to have a very serious talk, on my pink duvet._

_“You’re a package deal, the two of you. Whether or not you believe it, Ella, he is yours.” She considered something, “And he wouldn’t be wrong to think it would bother you. It obviously does.”_

_I shook my head, “Not like that.”_

_“Ella, you_ sound _jealous.”_

_My throat closed up. My heart dropped to my stomach as I remembered the look in his eyes, those planes of green glass cut like ice. I had almost fallen apart at the sight of him, crumbled to his feet at the sheer want I had for him. When had I become like this?_

_I shook my head again, a little more forcefully. “I can’t lose him.”_

_“Now hold on, Aaron Warner is not worth breaking yourself apart for.” Emmaline was listening intently to things only I should be privy to. I had yet to fully formulate a way to keep Emmaline out of every place inside my head, my naturally defensive ability seemed to be worthless against mental attacks. “Have some shame, please.”_

_“You don’t understand.” My face fell into my hands._

_She stiffened, “You’re in love with him.”_

_A sob caught in my throat and after a second I peeked up to see her reaction. Dreading what she might think, it was no secret that Emmaline hated Warner with a passion and only tolerated him. But when I glanced at her all there was only the barest of a grimace._

_“It’s not like I didn’t see it coming.”_

* * *

I went through what could be considered a routine, the motions, sidetracked and feeling a strange sense of rejection. I wasn’t going to take this instance personally, Warner had work and he needed a clear head in order to do that work or else we’d both get in trouble. Who knows what the punishment would be. But there was a nagging feeling that came with years of insecurity playing second best to a sister who was so efficient.

My heart tugged. I missed my asshole of a blood relation.

I put on the first pieces of clothing my hands touched when I entered the closet and searched around for my bag, I had an emergency kit packed away in one of the cabinets in Warner’s room, for emergencies of course. And in it was a cellphone.

Phone were still used often and were a much needed necessity between the Supreme Commanders, and honestly any of the Reestablishment. But reliance on them was seen as a weakness by Anderson, and therefore Warner only had a work line and I never brought my phone with me when I came to Sector 45. I scrolled through the contacts, there was no names only numbers, and I picked out my own area code and just below it the number I needed to call. I pressed the green button and pressed my ear and cheek against the screen.

As it rang I situated myself on the unmade bed from this morning. I wondered idly if I should make it just to pass the time, but she picked before the thought could come to fruition.

“Emma,” I sighed.

“Yeah? What do you need?”

“I didn’t know I need a reason to call you now, I can’t just want to catch up after not seeing you for over a month?”

There was shifting on the other side of the line, “You’re prickly today.”

Emmaline’s accent was like cool balm over a sunburn, it sounded like I was home again if only just for a moment before I felt the fabric beneath my hands and steeled myself from homesickness.

“Sorry,” I wasn’t really sorry. “Where are you?”

“Asia Sector 556.”

“Nazeera?”

Emmaline paused, “She’s here with me.”

“Good, I’d hate for you to get lonely without me.” My tease lost some of it’s bite as I continued my line of questioning, “Why are you over there?”

“Mum had business, decided I needed more hands on experience.”

That made sense, our mother had been sending Emmaline out more the past couple years than she’d done since we were children. Emmaline finally had to put her language and diplomacy skills to use, I was positive she was thriving despite any inclination she would make otherwise. Emmaline was always the one to downplay her people skills, but truly people only disliked her because she was so intimidating. My perfect opposite one might say.

“I might swing by, North America I mean.” Emmaline coughed, “If that’s okay with your royal pain in the ass?”

I couldn’t help but smile as Warner came out of the elevator as if he’d been called, in only a towel with his exercise duffle hanging off one shoulder. Our eyes met, green on blue, before he moved to set his things down and get dressed.

“Just walked in actually,” I said, “wouldn’t you rather go to the capital—?”

“I mean, I planned on visiting you. You _are_ the one who said we haven’t seen each other in over a month. Maybe I just miss bullying my baby sister.”

“I’ll asked.”

Emmaline snorted. “Alright, let me know. Keep in touch, Els, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ll call you later.”

The phone clicked as the call disconnected and by that point Warner had walked out of the closest in his black slacks and a sweater stretched over a white button down. He leaned on the far wall and didn’t venture forward until I’ll placed the phone on the bedspread and glanced at him.

“Was that Emmaline?”

“Yes,” I fought the urge to look at my hands. Our last conversation had left me in a bad headspace. I couldn’t be sure if this was a thing to remedy with conversation or separation. I _had_ been stepping on his toes since the moment I’d arrived on base.

“She wants to visit Sector 45,” he said it as a fact. “You’re allowed to see your sister whenever you want, love. I’m not going to bar you from her.”

My head snapped up, he was misinterpreting my emotions. Warner stood at least five feet away and his mask of apathy was nowhere to be found. It looked as though my feelings were causing him physical pain, and they probably were. I scurried to my feet and took a slow step closer to him, closing the distance between us until I could place my hands on his chest.

I shook my head, “I know. I know that you wouldn’t do that, that’s not why I’m upset.”

“Why are you upset?”

“It’s silly.” I reasoned, “There’s no point in bring it up, I’ve already worked through it.”

Warner furrowed his brows and pursued his lips. He looked about ready to argue, when a knock shocked us both out of our bubble. Warner tensed and moved away from me, in a deliberate way that led me to believe whoever was on the other side of this door was not someone aware of our relationship. He unlocked the door and opened it wide enough for me to spy Delalieu standing and shifting uncomfortably.

I almost spoke up in confusion, before I saw the boy behind him.

Or maybe not boy, he looked to be older than me, maybe older than Warner. But still had a round youthful shape of his face. And he looked dead bored, maybe a little curious, but mostly as if he didn’t want to be there anymore than I wanted him to be standing outside the door.

Regongition hit me like a ton of bricks, he was the guard from the other day, the one who had watched as the other had grabbed me and been pushed twenty feet into a wall. Why the hell was he here?

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Warner spoke with a military cadence that reminded me of his father. “Kishimoto, this is Miss Sommers and you will be her guard detail until further notice.”

My jaw dropped.

 _Kishimoto_ paled.

He was getting me a babysitter? This was his big plan that he had been hiding from me since dinner the night before? That he was going to force an under qualified soldier to follow me around the base and report anything I broke or screwed with? What, did Warner think I was _twelve_?

I opened my mouth to scream these exact accusations at him, but when we locked eyes I noticed something else. His fingers were absentmindedly tapping against the side on his thigh, or appeared to be absentminded. Warner fidgeted, but not in a pattern, not in code.

_Trust me._

I narrowed my eyes and locked my jaw shut. I had no clue what game this idiot of mine was playing, he wanted me to go along with whatever plan he was concocting without me? Fine, I’d go along with it, until we were alone. And then I’d really let him have a piece of my mind.

Springing this up at me out of nowhere. It should have been predictable.

My face dissolved into a fake smile, trained appearances and came to the door with all the elegance and grace I could muster. I held out a hand to shake his, “Lovely to meet you.”

Warner shot me a look that I only caught in my peripheral, but Kishimoto was smart enough not to make contact with me. He hadn’t spoke once in my presence, though he didn’t look worried or even intimidated by myself or his commanding officer. There was no way he could know the extent of what I could do, it wasn’t as if it was common knowledge.

“Kishimoto is required to be by your side from 0800 to 1700, not including—”

“Yes, I’m perfectly aware of how a guard detail operates. Thank you, _Warner_.” I tried to add as much bite as I could manage into his name, he looked as if he had to restrain himself from smiling. I forgot, in that instance, that he didn’t smile hardly as much around the rest of the world as he smiles around me. That thought sent a giddy, burning fire down my limbs and before I can act on it I’m rushing out into the hall and away from him without a look over my shoulder. “I’ll see you for dinner then, later.”

There is no response, I’m already gone and trailing behind me is another set of military issued boots.


	3. "The Reestablishment takes away everyone's freedom, even mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, updating my fic? now that's what i call character development
> 
> in all honesty, I've had this chapter completed for awhile but i wanted to wrap up the first draft of chapter four before posting it, just to decrease the next wait time. the comments i got on last chapter really brought me out of my slump ! now it's almost like vilify me is all i can think about.
> 
> i'm cross-posting the fic now on tumblr, come chat with me about the au if you'd like ! @kazhewbrekker  
> enjoy the chapter !

“What’s your name, soldier?”

I had considered Sector 45 a second home for a long time, and by extension I knew where all the best spots in the base were. I knew which seats were the most comfortable and which one’s cushions hadn’t been changed out since before I was born. So, I’d taken my new faux-bodyguard to one of the sectioned off rooms, chambers that had colored themes and a lack of decor. And also no cameras. That was the most important part, I would sit us right in the blindspot.

“Kenji Kishimoto,” he paused awkwardly, “sir.”

“Call me Ella, I don’t have a formal military title.” That was a lie, _technically_. “And I don’t take myself that seriously.”

Kishimoto-- _Kenji_ snorted, he had a sense of humor.

“Where are you from?”

“Sector 43,” he paused to frown at me. “Where are _you_ from?”

“Oceania Sector 124.”

It was an automatic response, replying with section numbers instead of places. No one from Sector 45 would know anything about the continent of Oceania. I doubted any of them had ever been on the other side of the world.

“New Zealand.” I amended.

Kenji’s mouth opened in an _ah-ha_ moment, before promptly closing and leaving an awkward silence between the both of us. I was hesitant to close it, this soldier had been given a job and it wasn’t to make nice conversation and be my friend.

“Who are you then?” Kenji spoke before I did.

“What do you mean?”

He rolled his eyes, “If you’re getting your own personal guard you’ve gotta be someone worth protecting. So, who are you? Should I know?”

“I don’t know,” I blinked. “It’s probably better that you don’t already know who I am.”

Kenji seemed to consider this, and after another moment, sat down on the other chair facing my own. It was progress at least. He didn’t seem comfortable in the slightest. Though, I couldn’t exactly blame him for that could I?

“You already know what I can do.”

“News spreads fast here,” he shifted in his seat.

I nodded grimly. He’d been tipped off not to make direct contact with my skin or, at the very least, he’d seen me take down a man twice my size without a weapon. That would be enough evidence to convince most people. But Kenji didn’t look scared of me, he still showed the same level of discomfort as he had in Warner’s presence. It was possible he just had a problem with authority.

“Well, there’s nothing to worry about as long as you don’t touch me.”

“Why am I protecting _you_ then?”

I bit my lip. He wasn’t an idiot, I couldn’t just lie and say I needed protection from the soldiers. Kenji had seen me practically bulldoze a man twice my size.

“Maybe it’s less about protecting everyone else from me--”

“--and about protecting everyone else from you. So, I’m on babysitting duty?”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “I tell you I’m not military and you’re already interrupting me. You don’t waste any time do you?”

Kenji seemed to resist a grin, “Sorry, Princess.”

* * *

Around Kenji, I refused to be unprofessional in case he saw it as a weakness in which he could exploit. Even after spending a day with him trailing my every move I couldn’t figure out a reason for Warner to assign him to watch me. If anything he seemed like more of a troublemaker than I was. Perhaps I was missing something, that hurt my pride.

Warner was in his office, at the desk with folders stacked before him, by the time I returned to the bedroom. I was unimpressed, and that much could have been easily picked up on, but I pulled a chair up to his desk and sat crossed legged. He paused when I entered the room and hadn’t moved since, but after I was settled he returned to the work before him without comment. Two could play at this game, I opened a book.

It was a long while before Warner spoke, “Do you want to know why?”

“I’d rather you not hide things from me to begin with,” I flipped the page, “but I suppose that’s asking too much, isn’t it?”

I could feel my heartbeat pick up pace, the tension that always wrapped around us seemed to be tightening into a stranglehold. The only thing that held me together, that kept me from giving in, was the fact that it would never ruin us. Fighting was just an aspect of our relationship, we disagreed on nearly everything but it made life interesting. I wouldn’t lose him over this and he had to know that he would never lose me either.

“Kenji Kishimoto has only been here for two months,” Warner began. “Kishimoto has been a nuisance, causing problems among the sector’s ranks and becoming a very frequent headache of mine.”

“And now he’s my problem?”

I finally looked up to meet his eyes, shards of glass that I could feel cut into my heart. He must have finally sensed that I wasn’t nearly as upset with him as I had made it sound, because his shoulders relaxed just a fraction before he continued, “There’s something suspicious about the timing and that’s not all.”

“No?” He placed a folder in front of me.

“I can’t tell if he’s lying.”

I raised an eyebrow and flipped open the file, Kenji Kishimoto was the first profile in the pile. I turned the page and found another soldier, and another, and another. “What is this?”

Warner didn’t speak as I kept looking through the files. I couldn’t see the connection with all of these people, some weren’t even from Sector 45 but from the other side of the continent. There was something so familiar about it that I had the urge to look away, insist that Warner answer my question. But then I didn’t need him to, a soldier appeared before me and I recognized the face.

Just barely, because it wasn’t in agonizing pain.

“ _Aaron_.”

“North America’s files on double agents, people regents have been led to believe are members of the rebellion. You know we’re told to keep track of any soldiers that peak interest.” He paused, quiet. “You have a copy too.”

I dropped the papers unceremoniously and put my head in my hands. I knew, deep inside, that everyone who worked in the Reestablishment had some version of my kill-list sat in a box somewhere within their desk. That was how my work operated. Someone reported a citizen, or a soldier, or anyone of being suspicious and rowdy and then they called in me. The Reestablishment didn’t care if they got things wrong, if there was nothing to learn from the person they took in, and they had me kill them anyways. They were never let go after being taken in. Anderson thought it was good for me.

“You reported him?”

“Not yet.”

I looked up to meet his eyes, “What am I supposed to do?”

Maybe it was the fragile way my voice shook, my control slipping, or maybe it was the pain I could feel rolling off my mind in waves. I knew they were crashing into him, I watched as he took each with practiced ease and still managed not to break under their weight. He was so strong, my anchor, and now he was giving me a choice.

“I’ve never done an investigation before,” I strained out a laugh.

“You’re restless,”

“I’m tired, Aaron. I sleep all day--”

“You’re _restless_ and it’s hurting you more than it’s helping you.” Warner reached out a hand towards me, pushing away from his desk enough that I easily slipped off my chair and came to sit on his lap. I ducked my head beneath his chin, taking in the warmth of him, the comfort as he brushed his fingers through the short strands of my hair. “I didn’t do this to hurt you, I’m not--”

“You’re nothing like him.” I pressed a kiss to his neck, “And you didn’t hurt me.”

“It felt like I did.”

“You told me the truth, that’s a _good_ thing. Even if it took me by surprise.” I pursed my lips and laid out the options in front of me. Warner suspected Kenji to be a member of the rebellion and he very well might be, but he hadn’t been reported. It’s not my job to handle him unless he gets officially reported by a sector regent, theoretically I could leave it alone. But, if I was to dissuade any possible suspicion around Kenji, then I wouldn’t have to kill him. “You’ve given me quite a decision.”

“At least you’re not bored.”

“If Anderson found out--”

Warner frowned, “He won’t.”

We sat in silence with me curled up against him like we were children again. There had been a point in time where Warner wanted as far away from the work his father had be do then anything else, it was a testament to the strengthening of our bond that he shared this with me. And I was so, so proud of him.

“You don’t have to listen to him,” his voice was soft, I almost missed it just swimming through the contents of my own thoughts. He was watching me, gauging my reactions while pushing my hair behind my ear. “I hate watching you tear yourself apart.”

“I know.”

His lips kissed down my temple to the corner of my mouth and I tilted my face higher to give him more access. I would never get tired of my feeling of him against him. With him I would never feel alone.

“I love you.”

I smiled into his kiss as he repeated the words again and again and again. I was drowning and it was just fine, everything would be fine, I could handle this tiny mission. It was a means to an end anyways. And I could do anything, especially here, in North America with my best friend, the love of my life.

“I know.”

* * *

_“Miss Sommers.” Delalieu greeted as I walked off the plane, my legs felt like gelatin and my heart was in my throat, constricting the airflow with each beat. It was easy to see Delalieu’s surprise at my visit. I fought back my own disgust with him._

_“Lieutenant,” I nodded, “I assume Supreme Commander Anderson has already returned to the capital?”_

_Delalieu didn’t need to nod. My assumption was correct._

_“Good, send the usual supplies to Regent Warner’s chambers. Don’t tell the Supreme Commander I’m here and don’t let anyone follow me up. Or else you’re dead.”_

_The way to Warner’s bedroom was far too familiar even after the months we’d spent apart for each other. Despite my mood, there was no way I could ignore today without guilt consuming my every waking moment. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I did. It was pleasing to watch as I made my way through the halls, soldiers new and old jumping out of my path._

_Alone in the elevator, my nerves began slicing me in two. The door chimed and opened to a scene that was far more eerie then I had assumed it might be. Little was changed about the room; the red duvet on the bed had been stripped and crumpled to the floor, the closet door was left opened with the lights off. There was a knock on the far-wall bedroom door, I sped towards it and opened it only to find the hallway empty and outside sat the cart I had told Delalieu to send up._

_It was filled with objects that felt more like memories. Medicine and antiseptic that forced my mind to think of laboratories and having my hair tied back in tight braids. I shivered. After setting the cart down on the table within the bedroom and locking the door behind me, I finally decided to look for the inhabitant, and quell the nervous energy in my stomach._

_“Aaron, where are you?”_

_There was no response throughout the room._

_I took inventory again and noticed the light to the bathroom was on. It was so stark against the objectively dark bedroom that I was shocked that I hadn’t noticed before. I crept closer to the slightly ajar door before pulling it open quietly, like the heroine in a horror movie. “Aaron?”_

_He was bent over the toilet with his back bared to me. Scars from previous years were crosshatched with fresh, welting cuts that now bled openly across his skin. Blood didn’t scare me, not anymore, but seeing him bleed was enough to bring tears to my eyes. It was an image of cruelty, true cruelty brought about by his own father. I would kill that man some day._

_I retreated back into the bedroom to grab antiseptic, bandages, something to soothe the wounds, I went through the motions that his mother had taught me when I was five and then again when I was six, and then again and again until I was the only one that could clear up after Anderson when he paid his son a visit on his birthday. I’d been doing it so long that it felt like second nature, and that though made my skin crawl._

_“Ella?”_

_Warner’s voice was barely above a whisper as I returned to the bathroom with supplies in hand, I settled on my knees beside him and brushed my fingers against the back of his neck, feeling the heat of his skin and calming my nerves._

_“It’s me. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”_

_He groaned, dry-heaving into the toilet again. I pulled my fingers through his hair once more before bringing a towel to the cuts and beginning my work. I had forgotten, in the past months, that without Warner I couldn’t really touch anyone. Not like I could touch him. He was the only person I could be safe around, vulnerable without losing a part of myself, the only person I could be normal around. I switched towels, cringing at the choice of white fabric. Maybe not completely normal._

_“Before I forget,” I wanted him to talk to me. Keep distracted. “Happy birthday. I would have gotten you something, but I figured that getting to see me again while I’m pissed at you was enough of a gift.”_

_He laughed weakly and rolled his head to the side to face her. I was struck with how truly awful he looked. Pale and sickly, sweat clung to his forehead and deep bruises sat beneath his eyes. I used the hand that was still grasped at the back of his neck to push the hair from his face. The blond strands I’d spent years in awe of now hung limp in the fluorescent light of the bathroom._

_“How are you?”_

_“Better.” Warner’s lip twitched, “Now anyways.”_

_I narrowed my eyes at him before getting up to put the bloodied towels in the sink. That’s when I noticed the pill bottle on the floor near him. I didn’t need to pick it up to know what the bottle contained, but I prayed that Warner was smart enough not to have overdosed._

_“No wonder you’re so slow,” I clicked my tongue. “How many did you take?”_

_Warner didn’t respond even as I got back down on the bathroom floor with him. He just stared at me with eyes glazed and confused. I touched his cheek, why this had to be the first moment we see each other after everything that had happened with Lena, with us. My own realization. Suddenly it felt dangerous to be alone with him in this state. I stood up once again, ever indecisive, I could change the sheets on the bed while I reigned myself in._

_Warner’s hand shot out, loosely grasping my wrist and trying his best to draw me back down to him. Knowing that Warner’s usual strength could easily accomplish this task hurt all the more now that he couldn’t even pull hard enough for me to budge._

_“Aaron,” my voice was gentle without planning to, “I need to change the bed. I’m not leaving, I promise.”_

_“Ella, I’m--”_

_“I know.” I smiled at him, and he let go._

* * *

Kenji Kishimoto was not going to make this easy for me. Everyday he would be forced to follow me as I walked in circles around the base. And it felt like the proper punishment for me. I think it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, or maybe just the beginning of my investigation, whichever made me sound less soulless. 

“What’s your favorite thing to do?”

Kenji gave me a deadpan expression, “I don’t know, Princess. I have to work all hours of the day.”

“You could humor me, y’know.” There was a pause as we continued walking and I thought up another question, “What’s your favorite color?”

“Grey.”

I threw my hands up in mock annoyance.

“Fine, what do you want to talk about?”

Kenji shrugged. He had been trying to keep a straight face for the majority of our limited conversations, but I’d grown very used to seeing beyond people’s masks. I could tell he was hiding a smile and maybe even some curiosity. I could use that, I knew I could.

“Come on, you’ve got to have questions.” I waited for him to respond, but he didn’t. “And I don’t plan on leaving Sector 45 anytime soon.”

He sighed and after another moment of mindless walking he said, “Fine.”

I clapped my hands together in glee before turning on my heel and heading towards another room similar to the one I had taken him to before. Sector 45 had a lot of unused rooms, especially on the upper floors, and I had never really registered why. The skyscraper hadn’t been built to house military, that much was certain, but it left a great many rooms easy to access and free of the hidden camera that made my skin itch beneath my clothes.

“Ask away,” I told him as I moved to the back of the room. There was a bookcase on the far left that held cookbooks on the second tallest shelf. I pulled one on Indian cuisine down.

“All right,” he didn’t waste time to consider. “Why are you here? In North America, I mean.”

“I work for the Reestablishment.”

“There isn’t anywhere in the world better then here?”

I smiled at him, “I wouldn’t go that far.”

The couches in the room were a toffee brown color that clashed with the walls and the woods. They had no taste for interior design in any of these rooms. It curled my lip, but I sat on the cushion and set the book beside me, gesturing for Kenji to sit on the other couch across from me. We were going to have a conversation and it was only polite to be on equal footing.

“For me,” I continued, “I suppose this is the best place in the world.”

He raised an eyebrow, or tried too anyways, but I could tell he didn’t believe me. Now I was weighing my options; If I confided in him then maybe he would see it equal to confide in me as well. But on the other hand then I’d had to tell him something honestly about myself. I wasn’t sure what information I could divulge easily. Kenji made a motion with his hand as if for me to keep talking, a quiet _why_ sat in the air around us.

“Honestly?”

He nodded.

“Regent Warner.”

Whatever he’d been expecting me to say; the sun, which was now perpetually blocked out by clouds, the beaches that were filled with litter, or the oceans that were so polluted you could get sick from just standing near them. California was an unfortunate caricature of its former self, or so I remembered.

But Warner was the easiest thing for me to talk about, as cheesy as it sounded. I couldn’t help but have him in the back of my mind in every waking moment. Because we were partners, a pair, always together except when we weren’t. And this was the juiciest gossip I could give him without revealing myself as the Reestablishment favorite assault rifle.

“It did seem weird for you to walk out of his bedroom like that.” Kenji observed me with a new level of suspicion, “Wait, I thought you couldn’t touch anyone?”

“I can’t.”

“Then-- wait-- how?” He made an exasperated motion with his hands as I sat there smiling at him. It took him a minute to compose himself, “So, you’re here for him?”

“More or less. I’m on vacation.”

“The Reestablishment gives out vacation days?”

I laughed, “No, unfortunately. I’m a special case.”

Kenji finally leaned back in his seat, getting more comfortable as he continued to question me and I answered without difficulty. He gave me an incredulous look, “You don’t work for the military, but you do work for the Reestablishment. And you take time off even though you’re not supposed to. What are you, a diplomat?”

“No.” I shook my head, “Definitely not. My sister is far better versed in policies then I am.”

“You have a sister?”

I pursed my lips. If Emmaline were here she could sort through the contents of his head and deliver the truth to me on a silver platter. But Emmaline wasn’t here, I was, and I didn’t have abilities over the mind. I wondered if I cursed her loud enough, if she could hear me from the other side of the world.

“Am I going to learn anything about you beyond your favorite color?”

“Sure, Princess.” He grinned like he’d beaten me at something.

I waited. I couldn’t ask him another silly question, like what was his favorite animal, it was better to let the truth come to light naturally but that didn’t mean you shouldn’t help it along. Once again, I wished I were Emmaline, that I could so easily read people instead of harm them.

“Why are you a soldier?”

Kenji’s smile fell slowly until he was staring blankly back at me. I hadn’t thought it would be a hard question to answer, I figured he would brush it off and say he was simply bored and it offered a bit of excitement. That would be in character.

“Kenji?”

“Why do you think?” He spoke up, “Everyone has to eat, has a family they need to protect, that’s why _everyone_ chooses to be mindless drones for a government that doesn’t give a shit about us.”

I sat patiently while he caught his breath and continued.

“Hell, it’s not even really a choice at this point. You either work for them or you work for them, there’s no in between for any of us. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, _Princess_?”

Strong resentment for the Reestablishment. Unwilling to share details of personal life. Hostility evoked from questioning. Distracting demeanor, draws attention to himself, but through mischief instead of malice. It was a strong cover, _if it was a cover_. I couldn’t be too hasty in my decision. For once I could actually save someone from my chopping block rather than lowering the axe.

I hummed softly to myself before standing, the cookbook left on the seat. Decisions, decisions. When I moved towards the door with the intent to leave, Kenji got to his feet and his regret over his own words was written clearly on his face. I turned and smiled back at him, I wasn’t hurt by his opinion of the Reestablishment, I’d heard far worse.

“You’re dismissed for the rest of today, I think I’m going to take a nap.” He opened his mouth to speak up, but I raised a hand and silenced him. “Not to make light of your own difficulties, but it doesn’t matter high up you are. The Reestablishment takes away everyone’s freedom, even mine.”

* * *

_I had never seen this room before._

_It felt a little bit like Mum and Dad’s office. Cold and quiet. I wrapped my arms around myself as Mum and the other people in white coats moved around the room. They were talking quietly, but I was so far away from them I couldn’t make out any of the words. And then Dad kneeled down next to me._

_He didn’t hold my hand anymore, even though Mum made me wear gloves. But he still smiled at me like he always did, that’s how I knew he loved me. “Hey there, little bird.”_

_I smiled shyly back at him. There was a creaking of metal across the room and I almost reached up to cover my ears it was so loud. I wished Emmaline was there, she always knew what to do. Or Warner. If Warner was there he could hold my hand while I waited for Mum to do my check up, this was probably another kind of check up. Dad moved into my line of sight, cutting off my vision of Mum._

_“Ella, you’re five now and that means you’re a big girl.”_

_I nodded. Emmaline was six and she was already so much more grownup. I was determined to catch up to her._

_“I need you to do something for me, little bird. You’re going to take your gloves off--”_

_“Mum said I wasn’t allowed to take them off.”_

_“I know,” he smiled, “but Mum needs you to take them off right now. Just for a little while, I promise.”_

_I glanced down at the pink cotton gloves that came all the way up to my shirt sleeves. It had been a couple months since I’d had to start wearing them and they weren’t itchy at all anymore. My hands honestly scared me a little bit. It had been a really sudden thing, I didn’t want to take a bath and the nanny watching Emmaline and I had had to chase me around the living room. When she finally caught me, she started screaming like I had kicked her. Mum had come then, she’d done a check up, and then she told me to wear the gloves and not take them off._

_And she told me not to touch anyone._

_Emmaline thought I was dumb, but I could understand that somehow I could hurt someone if I touched them. Like when you got too much static from rubbing your socks on the carpet and you shock someone. Except it seemed like it hurt a lot more. I didn’t want to accidentally touch Mum, or Dad, or Emmaline. Or Warner. So, I never took the gloves off just like I was told._

_“Please, for me?” Dad asked._

_I gave in. Pulling the cotton back to reveal my pale arms and then my hands. They looked just like normal hands. I imagined a current of electricity running through them, but nothing changed. Emmaline said that when she used her powers , she visualized everything._

_“Alright, Ella, follow me.”_

_Dad led me across the room to where Mum and the other white coats had finally settled. Some sat in front of monitors and others stood around watching me, waiting for something. I wanted to hide behind Dad’s legs, but I wasn’t allowed to touch him. Mum came closer with a smile on her bright red lips._

_“There’s my brave little girl.” My face soured at being called little. “Are you ready for your check up?”_

_“Yes, Mum.”_

_Mum’s hands and arms were covered as she lifted me into a high seat, it reminded me of the bar stools we had in the kitchen. In front of me, on a table, there was a rabbit in a cage. It’s nose was twitching in all directions as it sat, still and calm. Mum opened the top of the cage._

_“Ella,”_

_“Yes?” My voice was shaking as Mum picked up the rabbit._

_“I want you to hold this bunny for me. That’s not hard is it?”_

_“But--”_

_“Hold it and don’t drop it no matter what, okay? This is very important.”_

_Dad came around from the side and stuck things that felt like suction cups to my head, I was use to those. I didn’t want to hurt the rabbit. I didn’t want Mum to give me the rabbit, it was so much smaller than the nanny, what if the electric shock really hurt it?_

_“Mummy--”_

_“Ella,” my mother’s tone was suddenly sharper. “Be a good girl and do this for me. It’s very important that you hold this rabbit and not let it go, no matter what, is this clear?”_

_“Y-Yes.”_

_Mum lowered the rabbit in my arms and then pulled them tightly around it. I noticed then that the rabbit was also hooked up to multiple machines, I could see it’s heart rate monitor out of the corner of my eyes. I saw it spike. The second the rabbit was in my hands it began thrashing like crazy, I could feel it try to bite me or claw me, anything to get loose. But it didn’t hurt, nothing touched me. And then the rabbit stopped moving._

_I watched everything. I couldn’t close my eyes as the soft rabbit with pure white fur lay limp in my arms. It’s heartbeat gone silent. I looked up at Mum, her hand held over her mouth and I wondered if she’s scream and me or cry. I had hurt the rabbit, I really hadn’t meant to. But her hand lowered and behind it was a smile._

_“Interesting,” she said. “Very interesting.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, sobbing at my computer screen: "chapter 4 definitely wont take as long to finish as chapter 3, right? right????"


	4. "I'll chase all the bad dreams away."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a MONTH. so here's the longest chapter of vilify me that has ever, and will ever, exist. and probably the last one for at least another month... : ((
> 
> I just started my first year of college and its been wild so far, and while i'll try to write, I cant promise anything. but !! please enjoy this chapter, it's probably mine (and my betas) favorite one to date. <3

Kenji seemed unimpressed as he walked into the hanger. I wasn’t expecting a huge reaction, but I thought he’d be at least a little bit excited over the prospect I was offering. I gave him a wink as he walked closer and patted the seat on the motorcycle I was leaned against, lovingly. It was a good thing I hadn’t run my plan past Warner, he would’ve been jealous.

“Do you know how to ride a motorcycle?” I asked innocently.

Definitely not impressed. “Never seemed like a necessary skill set.”

I shrugged. “Feel like learning?”

Kenji crossed his arms over his chest as I passed a helmet to him. He didn’t take it from me, which was to be expected. There was no chance he was going to go easy on me. I mean this was literally me trying to appeal to him enough to get him to trust me. Or maybe, just maybe, it was me trying to find something to relieve myself of the utter boredom that had befallen me since I came to Sector 45. Which, I had to remind myself, wasn’t Warner’s fault. 

He was busy. I was _also_ usually busy, that’s just how things were with us. And now, with this mission he’d put me on, I would find a new way to be busy. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Kenji took the helmet begrudgingly, “Where are we going?”

“Does it matter? Let me answer that, _no_.”

I climbed onto the seat, settling my feet in their place on either side of the bike. Kenji hesitated again, the black helmet now smugly fastened around his head, trying to figure out where he was supposed to sit on the motorcycle with me. I grabbed his wrist, between us was the layer of his military coat and the riding gloves I had fashioned myself with, as I pulled him on behind me. 

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“I didn’t say you would, Princess.” Kenji shifted uncomfortably and created a space between the two of us. I had the urge to roll my eyes. Like that would stop me. If I wanted him dead he would be by now. “How come you don’t wear a helmet?” Kenji asked.

I revved the bike. “Let’s hope you don’t find out.”

* * *

_“Put your foot on the break,” Warner instructed. “No, hold it down.”_

_“Sorry,” I shot him a glare and pressed down all my weight on the car’s brake. The glare broke apart in an instance. I was too excited to be mad._

_Finally, after being told over and over that he would teach me, Warner was going to show me how to drive. I’d wanted to for years, ever since he had when he was eight. Mum and Dad would never let me behind the wheel of a car, at least not until I was older no doubt, they didn’t even trust Emmaline in one yet. But I would learn how to drive first, because Anderson had left home earlier that morning and Leila wouldn’t mind if we borrowed the car. Or totalled it._

_“Okay,” I said, “okay, what do I do next?”_

_“Shift into drive.”_

_I blinked down at the controls. “What am I on right now?”_

_“Reverse.”_

_I managed to shift the car into drive recalling what I’d seen in films, “You don’t have to look so nervous, we’re indestructible, remember?”_

_Warner sighed exasperatedly, hands tightening on the seatbelt. “Keep your eyes on the road.” I grinned and checked my mirrors, slowly pulling my foot off the brake and towards the gas. “And I wish you’d stop saying that.”_

_“Why’s that?”_

_“Because my biggest fear is that one day it’ll stop being true.”_

_I frowned. I took it slow, but driving on a street that no one was ever going to come down again gave me the whole road to practice. I jumped between brake and gas over and over, inching forward and trying to get the hang of it. Every once and awhile, Warner pointed something out to me, but he was as patient as he was with teaching me anything. It was easy, easier than I thought it would have been._

_“I’m not going to lose my powers, Aaron.”_

_“No,” he agreed, “but have you considered your parents’ new project.”_

_I sucked in a breath and the car huffed in response. Warner didn’t looked shocked as I hit the brakes to look over at him. He looked worried. “Project Canary. Emma’s losing her mind over it.” I said._

_“I know, I heard.”_

_I raised an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me she’s bothering you about it too.”_

_“When she can’t call you she calls me, I’ve told you this before.” He tucked his chin and looked down at the watch affixed to his wrist. “Emmaline is just worried about you, love.”_

_“Of course she is, because if they can get through me it means she’s next. I don’t blame her.”_

_“Ella.”_

_“It’s true!” I shrugged, “You know it, I know it. I reckon if Canary succeeds, then I’ll be the only one affected. Well, and you, probably.”_

_“_ Probably _? You can’t be serious.”_

_I sighed dramatically, shifting gears and turning us around back towards the house. I knew he was staring at me, I could feel it burning under my skin. If he was offended by the truth that was his problem. Not mine._

_“If something happened to you,” I wasn’t watching his face, but I heard the way his breath caught in his throat. A chill settled around me as I waited for him to continue. “I would be devastated. You know that, don’t you?”_

_“Yes, sure, of course.” I snipped back._

_“Ella, I’m serious.”_

_Too much, too heavy. I nodded in an attempt to get him to drop it. Warner was my best friend, but God if he didn’t make everything out to be life-and-death. Though,_ technically _, this situation could very well end in my untimely death. It didn’t matter. He was serious all right, far too serious. And I didn’t want to think about the immediate future, not like he did._

* * *

I loved motorcycles. More than cars, planes, especially boats. Nothing else could get me in contact with the same level of _speed_ as the motorcycle could. I wondered a lot if it was anything similar to drugs, Mum and Dad would have me caged again if I experimented with anything that could mess with my brain or my body. So, death defying activities was all I had.

But I had to drive carefully, Kenji’s arms wrapped around me so tightly I had to focus on the wind whipping my hair to not break down at the feeling of being barred.

I hadn’t been lying about the helmet comment, as far as Kenji knew I was talented in hand-to-hand combat and could most likely kill someone if they just so happened to brush my skin. He had no way of knowing that a motorcycle crash was much more likely to hurt whatever I crashed into then myself. When I’d first embraced my daredevil tendencies, Warner had insisted that I wore protective garments, riding jackets and enforced padding. We hadn’t known the full extent of how much damage I could sustain. We found out though, eventually.

I came to a stop in a place where the road evened out and the buildings had grown scarce. It was strange, Southern California had always been overflowing with populace and new houses that the large expanse of nothingness was almost unnerving. I pushed those thoughts from my head and removed Kenji’s hands from my waist. 

He attempted to climb down with me, but I steadied him on the bike with a smile and said, “I’m teaching you how to ride remember?”

“I never said I wanted to learn how.”

“Yes, but you also never said you didn’t.” I placed my hand on the handlebar, about to launch into a speel about what each part on the bike did, until I noticed he was staring at me strangely. “What?”

“I’m curious. What brought this on?”

“Me teaching you how to ride a motorcycle? I was bored, wanted to ride my bike, and you’re supposed to follow me everywhere I go.” I paused, sardonic in nature. “Thus, here we are.”

Kenji looked back at me as if he didn’t believe me, and I had to give him credit, he was a lot more intuitive than he had appeared at first glance. It wasn’t as if I was lying. I was currently trying to use enough of the truth that he’d have eventually just have to believe that my intentions were pure. It’s not as if I had given him any reason to believe otherwise. Beside the fact that I work for a fear mongering government that treats its citizens even worse than the ground they walk on. 

I might have to rethink my plan of action.

“Okay,” I huffed. “Clutch is here, gear shift is down here, throttle, and break. You’re ready to go.”

“Wait, hold on a second, _that’s_ the big lesson? You point at all the controls, pat me on the back and say ‘Good luck.’ You’re the worst teacher in the history of ever.” 

“ _Jesus_ , that’s a little harsh.”

“Never have kids.” He said with a straight face, “You’d try to teach them how to ride a bike and then just throw them straight into oncoming traffic.” 

I groaned, “Newsflash you egg, traffic isn’t as issue anymore. The 405 is dead and I’d be a great mum.”

Kenji didn’t move as he held his humorless expression. As the silence dragged and we continued to just stare at one another, something cracked. I wasn’t sure if I was the first to snort, but giggles erupted from my lips until I was crumpled on the ground holding my stomach from laughter. Kenji wasn’t much better, he had to use to the motorcycle to hold himself upright as he practically hacked up a lung. 

I was wiping tears out of the corners of my eyes when Kenji finally said, “All right, that was hilarious. But I’m still not riding this death trap with a ten second long instructional period.”

“Just,” my voice was still strangled with restrained giggles, “trust me here.”

“You don’t make that easy.”

But he listened and settled on the bike like before, keeping one boot on the ground to stabilize himself. I corrected his form and I watched as his eyes darted nervously around the open field. I couldn’t say I completely understood his nerves, I’d never had to really worry about bodily harm before. With that, I had the sudden realization that this was a terrible plan, and if it failed it would really suck to have to drive home with a dead body. Or, even worse, have to walk. 

“Ready?” I asked honestly.

He didn’t in the least bit look ready. At least he knew how to brake.

Kenji gave a curt nod and I stepped away from the bike, giving him room to start the engine again and prepare for take off. The motorcycle gave a growl that I felt in my chest, that made the hair on my arms stand up, and as Kenji gave me one more glance before staring at the opened, empty road before him. I gave a silent prayer to a God I don’t believe in. 

The motorcycle lurched forward, shakily and slow it made its way down the street. A couple of times I worried if it was going so slow that the machine might tip over, but at every chance Kenji shifted his weight to keep it steady. It wasn’t until he turned around and came back towards me that I saw he had a genuine smile on his face. 

I rolled my eyes, he was going barely more than 20 miles per hour.

“All right. It’s not a vespa.”

He hit the brakes as he neared me and the sudden stop made him ram his stomach into the center console. Kenji took a shaky breath but his voice was only a little winded, “What’s a vespa?”

“Oh my God.”

* * *

_Our bedroom was cold. It was the middle of July and from the window I could see the moon against the cloudless sky. It was the only thing lighting the room. For once I was happy that snow hadn’t come so early this year, because if it had then I wouldn’t be able to see the moon at all. I clung tightly to my blanket knowing that it was my only protector, that would stop the dark corners of the room from getting any closer to the foot of my bed._

_I had been working very hard to not let it bother me, to sleep through the night without interruptions or nightmares. If Emmaline could do it then so could I. But it seemed like the harder I pushed away the negative thoughts, the stronger they came back with a vengeance. And the more they stole my breath straight from my lungs. I knew what panic was now though, I’d felt it before. It kept rising and rising like the temperature on a thermometer. Until my head started to feel dizzy and my chest began caving in._

_What was it that Warner always said?_ Try to breathe _._

_Easier said than done._

_At this point I should’ve been used to any form of sensory deprivation. Nothing to see, or hear, only the cold walls of the room that remind you that you’re not dead. Or asleep. Or somewhere in the middle. Mr. Anderson would turn down the oxygen in the room if I tried to fall asleep. It would go on for hours. But it always ended, sometimes I was worried it wouldn’t._

__Little bird, little bird in a gilded cage. With spikes on the bars. Little bird with no escape. __

_“Ella,” my sister’s voice whispered across the bedroom. “Ella, go to sleep.”_

_I froze. My rampant neverending thoughts must have woken her up, or at the very least kept her from falling asleep. I wasn’t quite sure what Emmaline could hear and what she couldn’t. But if I hated being in my own head, then surely my sister would despise it just as much. “Sorry, Emma.”_

_She sighed, rolled over. I felt my face burn with shame. “No worries, just…“ Her soft words disappeared into the cloud of dark that blanketed over her half of our bedroom. We’d been sharing a room since I was born. At least that’s what I had been told. But now the sea of carpet between the two of our beds felt wider and all the more terrifying under the gaze of the moon. I had to steel myself. I couldn’t be weak, I couldn’t whimper at the idea of closing my eyes, what would Mum say?_

_“Ella. Come here.”_

_I looked over to Emmaline’s moving sheets. I could barely make out her motions across the room. But I didn’t give it a second thought. I bundled the blankets around my body, grateful for the socks that covered my feet, and I tiptoed over the lie to Emmaline’s side of the room. Where pink met purple._

_Emmaline was waiting patiently with arms outstretched. She pulled me and my blankets up onto the sheets with her, and that’s when I noticed the long sleeves pajamas and the gloves. How had she been wearing gloves to bed? Emmaline pulled my head to her shoulder and hugged me tightly. I wished I could see her expression. I wished I could read her thoughts for a change. My panic spiked once more._

_“Calm down,” Emmaline yawned. “Give it a rest.”_

_“S-Sorry.”_

_It was dangerous to be this close to my sister. It was dangerous to be around anyone, ever. This was my curse. My burden. Mum called it a gift, she said it made me special. But I had to work harder, so I could be just like my sister. Mum would kill me if anything happened to Emmaline. She’d actually kill me._

_“Shhh, go to sleep.”_

_“I-I…”_

_My sister’s finger combed through my hair. I closed my eyes against her pillow._

_“Sleep, Ella. You can worry about things in the morning.”_

_She was right. I knew somewhere deep down that she was, but a part of me refused to accept it. It seemed like no matter what I did, my worries would follow me into my dreams too. I focused on Emmaline’s breath, her heartbeat, the slight brush of my hair from my forehead. It made me crave the blurry memories of climbing into bed with Mum and Dad, falling asleep in the safety they provided. Now it didn’t feel safe to be near their wing of the house, or even near them._

_“I don’t want nightmares.” I whispered back to her._

_Emmaline paused. If I paid close enough attention I could feel the edges of her power just on the cusp of my consciousness. If I dared to push against it all I would feel would be numb. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal.”_

_I blinked my eyes opened, “A deal?”_

_“Sure,” she pinched my shoulder. “If you try to sleep, I promise I’ll chase all the bad dreams away.”_

_It was far too dark in the room for me to see the look on her face. I couldn’t even tell from her tone if she was messing with me. I was a bit too old to believe that anyone could_ chase away _my bad dreams, especially when they had been formed out of reality. But then again, Emmaline had power over the mind. Even now I could feel her rooting herself in my thoughts, sharing them with me, but blocking me from following that path back into her own head. It was a one way trip, or so she said._

_If anyone could get rid of the nightmares, actually get rid of them, it would be Emmaline._

_“All right.” I said._

_She nodded once into the dark, “Close your eyes, then.”_

_I did as she asked. A moment passed, but in the moment the darkness of my eyelids didn’t feel constraining, like I was being pressed against the walls of a prison. It felt almost calm. Like a purring cat under my bare fingers, enjoying the feeling of my touch. It felt like I was back in North America, tucked into familiar sheets, pressed against the side of someone else. But only for a moment._

_And then I opened my eyes and Emmaline was gone._

_I sat up, wrapped in pink sheets, and stared across the room to the bed I had fallen asleep in. Purple sheets as pristine as if they had never been slept in at all. I should have figured. That kind of comfort and safety could only last a night._

* * *

Kenji wasn’t confident enough to drive us back, and I wasn’t entirely confident he could either. So, I drove the motorcycle to the compound, stopping myself from taking any unnecessary risks, least Kenji never go on another adventure with me again.

As much as I loathed to admit it, my plan was almost certainly backfiring. I was having fun just making friends with someone new. Socializing wasn’t exactly a skill I excelled in and the fact that Kenji almost didn’t seem nervous to get on the back of the bike with me after spending the afternoon in my company made me feel better than I had in awhile. There was a churning afterthought though, that if he wasn’t who he said he was, if Warner was right; then Kenji would die by my hand. There was no way around it.

Or so I told myself as we parked in the hanger. 

I shot a scathing look at the soldier who carted off my bike, knowing they would take care of it, but trying to retain the menacing aura I had accumulated before I started letting myself go soft. Maybe Warner was right and I really should go back to training in the mornings. 

It was only a second later as I turned to speak to Kenji that I felt a thrum of energy go through my body. The sensation stilled me to my core, even my lungs refused to take in oxygen as my brain scrambled for concrete meaning. I knew this feeling and I knew it well. My body restarted.

“Kishimoto,” my voice was harsh, “you are dismissed.”

“But--”

“ _Now_ , soldier.” There was a bite at the end of my words that I hadn’t ever used in conversation with him before. He registered this and, probably with some sense of betrayal, turned on his heel and marched away from the hanger. I hoped he was fast enough.

When my ability had first manifested, there were a lot of things going through my five year old head. And still it wasn’t anywhere near as complicated as Emmaline’s own mind. My sister, being a year older than me, took it upon herself to compare us in everything. Even before our powers. Shockingly, she wasn’t so far off when it came to this over everything else. Our abilities were simultaneously complete opposites and so similar that they could not be recreated in any test subjects. Though it wasn’t from lack of trying.

I could _feel_ the energy of living things. Around me were spools of thread that tied back to every living creature, I could feel their hearts pumping, I could sense the electricity beneath their skin. By extension, Emmaline was connected to life through their minds. She had her own network that she organized and colorcoded, more orderly than my own, efficient. But our largest connector remained each other, and it was at that moment that I felt my sister’s ability wrap itself around me. As if it wanted me to know she was here, listening in to the private confines of my head. So, I did what any little sister would do.

I immediately thought back to the last time Warner’s lips were on mine, the heat of our breath as I undid the buttons of his shirt. I let my eyes close as the memories washed over me, leaving a singing fever in their wake. 

Emmaline withdrew faster than a bat out of hell. 

“That was _rude_.”

I heard her before I saw her. My eyes blinked opened tentatively as I watched my sister walked down the stairs into the hanger. Soldiers stopped, if only for a moment, to stare and wonder. Emmaline looked a lot like our mother. Her hair was two shades darker than mine and always laid flat down her back, her face was older, wiser. And she wore that red lipstick that Mum liked. 

It was hard not to think of that woman when I looked at her. “What, like looking through someone’s head? Tell me, is that real rude?”

She rolled her eyes, “You’ve made your point.”

“Have I?” 

When she stepped down from the last stair a smile appeared on her face, out of nowhere. And then she held her arms open towards me. I noticed the sleeves of her coat, the collar of her shirt that covered her neck, the gloves that seemed to permanently cling to her hands. This wasn’t a last minute decision, my sister had come to Sector 45 with the full intent to see me. 

I tried to walk calmly towards her. I’m pretty sure I failed.

Emmaline hugged me. She squeezed my shoulders and rocked us from side to side like a dance. It wasn’t appropriate, to be so excited to see each other, if our mother was there she would have chastised us greatly. But Mummy dearest wasn’t there, and we could do whatever the hell we wanted. 

“This is a surprise,” I said as we pulled away.

“I told you I’d be visiting shortly.”

“Actually, you _asked_ if you could visit and I never got back to you.” 

Emmaline huffed as if I’d greatly inconvenienced her, “Doesn’t matter. It’s not as if you’re busy, hiding out from our parents and what have you.”

“They know where I am.” My eyes narrowed on her as a mischievous smile inched its way onto her face. “Mum does know where I am, right Emma?”

“Oh, she could guess, but I’m afraid she’s preoccupied right now.”

I held my breath. No wonder I’d been left alone for almost a month. Emmaline was covering for me and with her powers no less. It was starting to get scary how easily she could deceive the people that more or less ran the world. 

“And what was your excuse for flying out here?”

Emmaline glanced at me, her lips upturned in a smug expression that made her lipstick seem darker. The color of blood. “I’m allowed holidays just like you.”

There was a palpable moment of tension between us that shattered with a clap of my sister’s hands. She turned on her heel and made her way back towards the stairs. I followed, just as she had expected me to do, and I watched as her hair flew behind her like a black veil. Nothing was different about Emmaline from the last time I had seen her, but I knew my sister better than that. She wasn’t a consistent person in the least. 

She had plans. Always.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to your friend?”

I met her eyes as she glanced back at me, “Didn’t think you’d be interested.”

Emmaline hummed to herself for a moment before we entered the main hallway. She let me move to take the lead as I headed for the nearest elevator. It was just around dinner time now, the sun had already begun it’s decline over the ocean. Well, it would’ve anyways, if it wasn’t for the clouds hiding it. And I was starved from messing around in God knows where for hours.

“Y’know, sis,” she spoke finally after the elevator doors closed. “You can’t exactly lie to me.”

I gritted my teeth.

“And I’m not just saying that because I can read your mind. What, can’t trust me now? Especially when you’ve decided on making friends with someone you think is working for the rebellion.”

“Hush up,” I hissed.

The elevator was still steadily moving up towards the higher floors. That left us with little time left to speak with the comfort of not being recorded. Once we were out in the open, anyone could overhear us and report back to Anderson, Kenji would be as good as dead.

“I don’t know for sure.”

Emmaline scoffed.

“I _don’t_. Doesn’t matter, I just don’t want you rooting around in his head while I’m trying to do my job. Because if he is with the rebels, then maybe he can lead me to that base.”

“The base Anderson’s on your ass about.”

The doors open, “That’s the one.”

We walked in silence towards the dining room. There was something strange and familiar about wandering these halls with my sister beside me. Maybe it reminded me of when we were children, I scrunched my nose. Emmaline and I hadn’t wandered the halls together when we were little. We barely interacted outside of bedtimes and Sunday breakfasts. I watched her out of the corner of my eye and found her looking back at me. Her expression was blank.

Before I even opened the door to the dining room, Emmaline groaned from beside me. I felt a tinge of a smile make its way onto my lips before I waltzed inside, emulating the grace of a person with the ball in their side of the court. If she was going to be confrontational or then I simply wouldn’t let it get to me, Emmaline could whine all we wanted but this was still Warner’s sector. 

_A telepath and an empath walk into a bar…_ I’d hate to hear the punchline.

Emmaline hesitated by the door as I swept inside to take my usual seat beside him. He barely spared a glance at my sister, before turning to me, his side of the table devoid of paperwork for the first time in weeks. I narrowed my eyes, had he heard of her arrival before I had? Most likely.

I leaned close enough to press my lips to his cheek as he whispered, “A _nice_ surprise.” I had to stifle the laugh the built up in my throat.

As much as I liked to taunt my sister, I also found myself increasingly more demure in her presenance. My cheeks reddened and I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as I pulled away from Warner and into my own space. I caught Emmaline’s eye as she, now quiet for the first time since I’d seen her, sat down carefully beside us. I braced myself for whatever she was reading, whatever she could feel.

“Don’t stop on my account.”

My nerves blew out of my lungs in an instant. Warner brought a water glass to his mouth rather enthusiastically, he was hiding a grin. I could rest easy knowing that this dinner wasn’t going to be a normal Emma-Aaron staredown, where I was placed in the middle and forced to choose which one I would have to calm down first. Frankly, I found it unfair that they put me in such a position at all.

Emmaline and I had been rivals since the beginning on account of our abilites and the expectations that came with them. It made our relationship difficult to say the least, stressful and even distant. We rekindled what we could salvage the older we got, but it was hard to put the pressures our mother had forced down our throats away. Warner and Emmaline’s rivalry was different. And I couldn’t even be sure when it started. It almost felt like I had woken up one day to the both of them being at each other’s throats with no explanation other than, “Because I _hate_ him, Ella.” on my sister’s lips. 

I had my assumptions. But I certainly wasn’t going to tell them that.

“C’mon now,” Emmaline spoke first. “What have you two been up to, spare no details.”

“Is that why you came here? To catch up?” Warner raised an eyebrow and I felt his hand find mine underneath the table.

Emmaline amused herself my looking through the assortment of bottles on the table, in Sector 45 there never seemed to be a shortage of alcohol, before picking one that suited her tastes. “Why else would I be here?” She said as if there was a very obvious, very necessary reason for her to be here. Her eyes met his with something I could only describe as contempt, “To make sure you haven’t defiled my little sister?”

I felt more than saw Warner’s reaction to her words. It was like the walls turned ruby red, the air became almost stifling, but neither of the other occupants seemed to notice. No, Emmaline was reveling in my love’s discomfort. There was a gnawing dread in my stomach that colorfully plated breads weren’t going to fix. I squeezed Warner’s hand.

“ _Behave_ ,” I said.

Emmaline shrugged, “I haven’t done anything that warrants punishment, Els. Even if punishment is your specialty.”

“For someone so gifted in speech, you’d think you would have learned when to shut up.”

“Bite me.” She laughed and buttered a roll.

The heat had dulled, but only slightly, and a dull blade was worse than a sharp one. I turned to Warner, who was still fixing my sister with a death stare. I raised his hand to my cheek. If I kept his attention on me, then hopefully they wouldn’t do something I would end up regretting.

“I rode my motorcycle today.”

“You did?” _Distraction successful_ , he answered curiously.

“I missed it. We should do it more often, it wasn’t the same without you.” The room smelled like lilac. “It’s getting pretty cold out, as well, so if you want to go riding--”

“A metal deathtrap.”

“--We’ll have to go soon.” I gritted my teeth again and caught Emmaline’s gaze out of the corner of my eye. “You never have anything helpful to add, do you?”

Emmaline was watching our exchange, eyes shimmering with something that I couldn’t place. But Warner could. I could read his movements better than his facial expressions, as he tilted his body in front of me. The lilac that had misted the air had turned frigid, but hadn’t disappeared. Not yet anyways. Emmaline placed her chin on the palm of her hand.

“Still trying to find a way to break your neck?”

How dare she pretend to be innocent. “Why? Decided to give it a go afterall?” I answered.

There was an ebb and flow to the frequencies that surrounded the table. Emmaline, ever the bringer of chaos, was upsetting my natural balance. I knew she would, hypothetically, and I could handle it. _Hypothetically_. But what I couldn’t handle was my sister trying to infuriate the both of us at the same time. Though that was what she did best wasn’t it?

“Tell us why you’re really here, Emmaline.” Warner’s voice was serious.

I stiffened as my sister’s lazy smile faded. “You already know, don’t you?”

“Tell _her_ , then.”

“Or you will. I’m familiar with the threat, thank you.” She rolled her eyes and the childish glee she’d been playing with from the moment she’d hugged me, disappeared completely. If I could feel emotions like Warner, I’d suspect any cheerfulness in my sister had blown away, almost like it never existed. “Project Canary.”

My blood froze in my veins.

“They’ve completed it?”

Emmaline appraised Warner’s question, “They believe they have.”

“And that’s all that really matters.” His fingers tightened their grip on my hand and I squeezed back with just as much force. I couldn't feel the rest of my body, I was grasping for anything, and had settled on my power. It covered me like a blanket, extended itself to Warner and wrapped him in it as well. It was protecting us, it would protect us. But not from that, not if they had succeeded.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Emmaline chasitied. “As if I would let them create something powerful enough to neutralize Ella. I’m not an idiot.” That was a pointed statement if I ever heard one.

“What were you doing in Asia?” How could Warner be so calm?

“Testing it, obviously.”

He leaned back, “And?”

Emmaline was silent for a long time. Long enough that I began to count. I hated counting, more than anything. As much as I loved mathematics and sciences, the theory of numbers and how they could organize the entire universe, I despised counting with a passion. Because once I started, it was almost impossible to stop. To pull myself out of that scared little corner of my head that I only fell into against my own will. 

_1, 2, 3, 4…_

Warner’s pointer finger tapped on the inside of my wrist.

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t serious.” Emmaline continued, “I could have waited for my sister to come home to see her again, but it couldn’t wait. So, here I am.”

“Here you are.”

It was a message, it was a message and I couldn’t decipher it, but I would keep trying. For him. I focused on the feeling. The soft brushes of the pads of his fingers as they typed out a message to me and only me, heavily coded, even in his mind. Emmaline couldn’t read this, only I could. If I just--

“The Unnaturals they found in the last raid have been wiped out. Overseen by Supreme Commander Ibrahim and Mummy dearest, of course. It wasn’t a diplomatic mission, I lied, Nazeera and I watched the precessions.” Warner could no doubt see what Emmaline was recalling in her mind, “Their frequencies, their signatures, just vanished. Like they were dead.”

“But they weren’t dead, not when they disappeared.”

Emmaline nodded, “It was like a blackhole. I’ve never felt anything so… _wrong_.”

“I can understand that at least.” Warner went quiet again, and deep inside my mind where reality couldn’t touch me I felt all the more trapped losing that tether. I shut my eyes tightly. Without the sound of their voices, the darkness, the frequencies were consuming the edges of the room, and I could feel them sting across my skin. The hand that Warner held was the only place that cooled, like soaked in water, safe. “Love, you need to come back to us now.”

I was weak. How could I be falling apart so easily? Here the two of them were speaking calmly and I was falling apart at the dinner table. If Anderson saw me, if our mother heard--

_27, 28, 29, 30…_

“Thinking like that isn’t going to get you anywhere, sis.”

Warner’s free hand came up to tuck my hair behind my ear and slid down to cup the side of my face. It was like balm on a sunburn. If I could just move, then I could disappear into the circle of his arms where I would be safe, and loved, and

“Wake up, sweetheart.”

I gasped and the ticking of a clock. The numbers. The counting stopped. 

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to the both of them, my eyes trained on the tablecloth. Embarrassment, shame, _weakness_ burned in my gut.

Warner stroked my temple, his eyes never left my face but Emmaline turned away and I had to restrain my own wince. My mind was not a serene place to be in at this moment, that was for damn sure. Maybe if she learned to stay out of my head then she wouldn’t read things she couldn’t stomach.

“But that wouldn’t be very fun, would it?” She mused.

Warner pursed his lips and answered her, gaze still trained on me. “I think that’s enough for tonight. Actually, I think that’s enough entirely. You passed on your information, Emmaline, go home.”

“Gladly,” she responded, “if my sister comes with me.”

“ _No_ ,”

The noise was raw and strained, I wasn’t sure where it came from until I saw my sister’s eyes turn to me. There was a mix of pity and desperation in them that made me feel all the more sick to my stomach. Maybe she believed the best way to protect me was by us staying together, but if her information had solidified anything it was that I couldn’t return home. Not anytime soon anyway. 

“Emma, I can’t.” 

“And why not?” Emmaline stood to her full height. She towered over the table, but I could feel her unease rolling off her frequencies in waves. It had been awhile since I had fallen apart in front of her. Probably almost a decade. 

“Mum, she plans to test it on me.” To my surprise, my lips didn’t quiver. “It will work.”

“And I’ll stop her.”

I shook my head. She didn’t understand, she couldn’t understand what losing my powers even for a moment would mean for me. The vulnerability that I hadn’t felt since I was a child. How stripping me of something so intertwined with my entire being would be alike to _killing_ me. The fact that the Reestablishment could very well kill me using such an object. 

I watched the warring emotions on my sister’s face as she considered my thoughts. I wished that I could read her own and understand why she would be so insistent that I return home with her. It didn’t work. Emmaline turned away from me, and away from the table, and walked back towards the door. We hadn’t even gotten the chance to eat anything. I hadn’t noticed until now.

“Els,” Emmaline called back to me. “I’ll see you in the morning. For training, yeah?”

She paused. I bit my lip, “Of course.”

And with that she nodded and left. The door slamming behind her with more force than necessary and a weight settling in my gut that I could be sure would disappear overnight. I glanced to Warner, his eyes still heavy on my face, and I found something in them that perfectly reflected how I felt. How this whole situation felt.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into the collar of his jacket. And I cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> INTRODUCING... emmaline !!
> 
> finally you all get to meet my functional disaster daughter. let me know in the comments how you feel about her characterization !! and what you think is going to come about with all this "project canary" talk ! ; ))
> 
> love you guys, talk to you soon !


	5. "Call me selfish all you'd like."

“When I said I wanted to shower with you this wasn’t what I meant.” Warner snorted from beyond the glass wall that separated us. I was currently curled up against the tiled floor of our shower, my knees hugged into my chest, with warm water splashing in my face like a hurricane. I’d had better late nights. In fact, if I really put my mind to it, I could think of plenty of ways I’d rather be spending the evening with my partner in crime.

“Not right now,” Warner answered and a pout tugged at my lips. _Damn telepathy_. “Just focus on relaxing, love.”

“Easier said than done. Emma practically waltzed in here, told me I was as good as dead, and then demanded I return with her to the place of my future execution.”

I could hear his disapproval. “You’re not going to die, Ella.”

“What makes you so sure?”

A part of me wished I asked sarcastically, but genuine fear crept into my voice. I needed my pillar of strength. I needed the Warner that had always held my hand when the panic seemed to rise like a wave over my subconscious. He was so utterly confident. That confidence was something I lacked and desperately needed.

“Project Canary is still in testing,” he began. I closed my eyes and listened to the timber of his voice bounce off the walls. “Which means your mother won’t use it on you until she’s absolutely certain it will work. I’d guess Emmaline wants to take you back to Oceania in order to test Canary herself.”

“You guess?”

I heard a lick of a smile, “I know. Emmaline wants to confirm your mother’s experiment in order to find the best way to counteract it.”

Emmaline was strong. Her ability far outclassed my own in almost every field, it was why mother had always preferred to work with her while I was thrown into the military. A new type of weapon for them to play with. But if Emmaline was right, Canary might become useless, there was the possibility that Emmaline’s psychokinesis was powerful enough to destroy the kind of machinery that would make Unnatural abilities null. 

“It’s a risk.” Warner confirmed my own thoughts, “Not one I’d take.”

I ran a hand through my hair. My fingers caught on the ends.

“What’s our alternative? We’re running out of time, Aaron, and it’s not like I can hide forever.”

“We wait.” I opened my mouth to disagree, but he cut me off. “Listen to me. Emmaline has the right idea. The best possible outcome is that we can disable the effects of Canary before you get hurt. But, we have to play this smart, we don’t have all the information and until we do there’s a higher chance of failure.”

“I never thought I’d see the day where you agree with Emma.”

In a different situation, I would laugh at how my comment soured his mood. “Hilarious.”

Under the shower spray everything looks so simple. I could imagine for a minute that I wasn’t some kind of genetic experiment gone wrong. One that had to be controlled. In the presence of Warner, I could be a normal girl. Just another person with ten fingers and ten toes. Except, things could never be that easy or that simple. I was a mutant. I did have a power so destructive that occasionally even I couldn’t control it. But none of that mattered, what was at stake here was my freedom. My life.

I sighed and stood up from the tile. Twisting the shower hand off, I leaned against the glass door and opened it a crack. I peeked out at Warner, who was leaned against the counter opposite of me. He looked content, the smallest of smiles on his face, but I knew him better than that. I could see the clench in his jaw from thinking too hard. I could see the worry in his eyes when he met mine. I held out a waiting hand.

“Towel, please?”

He reached behind him on the counter and held out a towel for me, I nodded in thanks before closing the shower door again and sagging against it. 

“You can stay here as long as you’d like, love.” I could hear the weariness, how he was agonizing over my own dilemma. It was moments like this where I felt I didn’t deserve him. I sighed and wrapped the towel around myself before exiting the shower.

Standing with a towel wrapped around chest, I observed him. Warner was still in partial business attire, his collared shirt was unbuttoned on the top and the only article of clothing he’d removed was his dress shoes when we’d enter the bedroom. He’d been too preoccupied with throwing me under the hot water after my breakdown in the dining room to dress down. It had been too long it seemed to me since we’d had an honest heart to heart. Warner crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes never leaving my face, as I moved closer to him. Close enough that I could feel his body heat. 

“So, we wait.”

He nodded as I placed my hands on his chest. 

We had been in a bubble for a few weeks, so long in fact that I had forgotten the fluctuation of his abilities. Having Emmaline appear and push his buttons, as well as mine, had brought them to the forefront. So, now when I touched him it was like the walls glowed. I was aware that most people couldn’t visualize Warner’s emotional manipulation like I could. The difference was I visualized everything when it came to my own ability, it helped me keep track of what was reality and what was fiction. I wasn’t even sure that Warner could see the effects of his power. It didn’t matter, for now I could enjoy the slow falling of his breath and how all the puzzle pieces fit back together.

Warner leaned down to press his forehead to the crook of my neck, one of my hands came up to cradle his head, and just like that we were wrapped around each other. His arms winding around my waist and holding me closer, my remaining palm still pressed against his heart, tightly between us. There was no fear, Warner only wished to hold me closer, hold me together. I kissed his temple lightly before blowing air against the shell of his ear.

He pinched my waist.

“It feels like we haven’t had a moment to ourselves in awhile.”

Warner kissed the side of my neck, “What about the past two weeks.”

“Not long enough,” I laughed. “No, a true quiet moment is when I get you all to myself for at least…”

He leaned back to watch my face with assessing eyes, eyes that could read me like a business report. My hand fell down to his cheek, which he leaned into without a second thought and a sigh left my lips. 

“At least?” He prompted.

“I want a year.”

He blinked in surprise, but a grin slowly formed over his face. Before I could elaborate he swooped down and pressed his lips to mine. I melted into the sensation as it drifted to the corner of my mouth, then swiftly soft pinpricks on my cheeks, my chin, my nose. I was under the spell of Warner’s own brand of adoration. Something I would gladly drown in.

“Only one year?” He finally asked.

“If I could have every year for the rest of my life be a quiet moment with you,” I gasped as his lips resumed contact. Only leaving to question the end of my sentence. "—I would. I want to. Forever.”

“That’s reassuring.”

I felt like floating. Like flying. My laugh bubbled out of my chest and I had no power, no want, to restrain the urge. I flung my other arm over his shoulder as his hands traveled down to my thighs, lifting me with ease and settling me against him. I had forgotten my current attire was a poorly tied towel around my chest and watched it fall to the floor. 

“Whoops,”

Warner tilted his head back, in another life I might have thought him to be praying, but the smile never left his face. Or his eyes. His attention never left me after that, whatever strength he’d wished for he had been granted. As he whispered promises into my skin, “We will have forever.” And I believed him.

* * *

_I was falling apart. In the good way. In the_ really _good way._

_Warner’s hands pressed to either sides of my hips, barely grazing the skin as he kissed his way down my neck. I tried not to focus too intensely on the feeling of him above me. Of the delicious press of his weight on the rest of my body. How I wished I could stay here forever, die beneath him._

_“Ella,” his voice tingled on my skin. There was something dark and breathless about it that left me with an ache between my legs. An ache that I immediately pushed far, far away from my mind. “Ella, stop thinking.”_

_I bit my lip and chanced opening my eyes._

_My cheeks flushed. Warner looked down on me, meeting my eyes with ease, and I could look nowhere but at him. His kiss-bitten lips, the shining of his eyes, how even without a smile he seemed to be glowing. Oh God, and his hair. If Warner could see the state of his appearance I’d wonder if he would be upset at the disheveledness or impressed because it had been done by me. That’s my affect. The effect I have on him._

_“Can’t help it.”_

_Warner hummed, dropping a kiss to my sternum. “Why’s that?”_

_I was still wearing a tank top and one of my numerous pairs of shorts. For all intents and purposes, I was in decent attire. Why then, did it feel as if I was in the most revealing outfit on the planet? Suddenly, the insistence of my skin being shown as much as possible by the Reestablishment had a new perk. One that didn’t involve untimely death._

_I heard a groan and decided to ignore it._

_With my current outfits for professional use, much like the one I was currently wearing, that meant that Warner would have this much access to my skin at all times and able to do the things he was currently doing, with his mouth, at any time—_

_“I’ll stop.” He sat up._

_I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back down. Now I was use to his heat, this special brand of heat. “No,” I whined, “please. Stay.”_

_Warner gave in easily, settling back into his previous position, but there was skepticism on his face. “Are you sure you want to keep going? Ella, if you’re uncomfortable—”_

_“I’m not. I promise.” Though I wasn’t doing much to prove otherwise. “I’m just trying not to… y'know.”_

_“The entire reason I asked you in the first place is because I_ don’t _know.” He said, blankly._

_I fidgeted with my hands for a moment before clasping them behind his head, the wisps of hair that had fallen out of place on his neck tickled my skin. I tried to focus on that, something steadying, and when it didn’t work, I moved to the sounds of our breathing. How we almost shared one set of lungs. I could feel his breath on my lips as he tried to calm down. I felt his hand cup the side of my face, his thumb caressing circles onto my cheek before settling on my bottom lip._

_“I don’t want to rush you,”_

_“You aren’t.” I said._

_Warner shook his head. “I don’t want you to think that we have to, that you have to.”_

_I didn’t know what to say. What could I say to that? Here he was, thinking that I didn’t want him, as if there was ever a universe where I wouldn’t want him. And I was being overwhelmed by the smallest of things. Yes, maybe I’d never touched another person the way I touched him. But what did that mean really? These were new experiences I was sharing with him and only him, only him ever, and I couldn’t let anything ruin that. Not for us._

_I met his eyes, finally, after avoiding them for so long. “You’re not rushing, I’m not uncomfortable, I like this. I like us, you. It’s just different.”_

_“Different how?”_

_“You hold my hand and hug me, but for years that’s been all the physical contact I’ve ever gotten. And now, right now,” I swallowed, “I want you to touch me everywhere. All the places no one ever has before.”_

_I could feel my cheeks burn and the soothing cool that was his hand as it continued to hold my face. And I watched as the look in Warner’s eyes shifted again from something calm to anything but. He looked devastating. A million faces, a million lives we’d led together and I had never seen the intensity of this expression grace his face. It wasn’t like fire, as his eyes darken to the point where the edges of green were almost unnoticeable, it was like ice. Harsh and frostbitten as he pressed his lips to mine again._

* * *

Warner cancelled whatever meetings were being held today. I had insisted against needing any form of moral support, but _he_ had insisted that it wasn’t everyday he got to see Emmaline actually fight. I wasn’t stupid, Warner had trained with her alongside the other Supremes’ children, he didn’t need anymore time to assess Emmaline’s skill set. And we didn’t spar often, of anyone I was at the most disadvantage.

Maybe that was why I took my time getting ready.

When fighting against anyone that wasn’t Warner, there was a very particular outfit that I had to wear. The reasoning being that often when challenges requiring physical power had a way of setting off my ability and if I was engaging in hand-to-hand combat with my sister, I wouldn’t want to see the result of my power being used on her. So, I wore a kind of wetsuit that covered everything from my neck to my fingers, it was tight and breathable and created with my exact measurements in mind. The Reestablishment had had nothing to do with this creation, it was entirely Emmaline’s design and _gift_. If it could be called that. 

She hadn’t been all that pleased to know Warner was teaching me how to fight. But she got over it.

It turned out, after careful assessment, that my ability was linked more to the physical self then Emmaline’s, which tended to lean towards the mental prowess. I was thankful for that realization and even more so as the distinction grew stronger. Our abilities, while alike in sheer power, were not the same even on a scientific level. I sometimes wondered if our mother knew and then realized that of course she did. She just wouldn’t have ever told us.

Emmaline knocked on the bedroom door at _6:30_ exactly, much too early for my taste, and gave a once over to my attire before promptly calling the elevator down to the training room. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be offended at how she dismissed me. I settled for disinterested.

I was more acquainted with Warner’s training rooms then she was, but that didn’t stop Emmaline. She walked to the center of the padded area in the middle of the room. It gave enough support to be acceptable for practicing combat, while also not being so soft that hitting the ground wouldn’t debilitate you. Well, debilitate some people, I didn’t really need to worry about anything other than damaging the floor. I followed her movements and stood on the other side of the makeshift ring. Emmaline tilted her head to watch me and I steeled myself against her. My telepath of an older sister was like something akin to a predator. 

“Rules?” Warner said, in my peripheral I watched him circle us before settling in the middle, off to the side with his arms crossed.

Emmaline smiled for the first time this morning. “Standard. Though,” I felt a chill. “I’d like to make you a deal, how’s about it?”

“No.”

She clicked her tongue, I couldn’t tell if her irritation was fake or not. I was too concerned with her movements. Surely my sister wouldn’t attack me before Warner had even called for us to start. But her smile deepened, and the lips usually coated in a ruby red shimmer, looked deadly under the fluorescent lights of the training room. I rolled back my shoulders and settled on the balls of my feet.

“If I win—”

I snapped at her, “I already said no, Emma.”

“If I win,” she repeated stronger this time, “you’ll come with me. We’ll face Mum’s experimentation together like it was meant to be. And then with Canary out of the way, you’ll be free to continue torturing and killing as you please.”

She had to be joking.

Warner met my eyes for barely a second and that was all it took to know. Emmaline was serious, that was her plan for dealing with Project Canary, something that our parents had had on the back burner for a least seven years now. Did she have so little faith in our mother’s ability to create a counteractive to our abilities? Perhaps she really didn’t care, not about me, not about what this would mean to me. Just what it would mean to her.

“Call me selfish all you’d like,”

“I will.” I said.

Her grin didn’t falter. “Make your proposition then, I don’t have all day.”

I considered her, something I could only ask of Emmaline. It was true that the opportunity to be granted a favor by my sister did not come around often. Usually, if she did help me, it was with methods that I didn’t agree with and completely without my knowledge.

What would it mean to finally have something I asked for? And what would be worth putting my life on the line like it was now? I watched my sister’s eyes, mirror images of my own, reflecting my own thoughts back to me. The second I decided, she would know. She was in my head. The least comforting of thoughts.

“Clock’s ticking, Els.”

I bent my knees and released a breath of air I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. My lungs had started to burn. “How about this—”

Emmaline was already shaking her head, but I wasn’t looking for her reaction. Even from a distance I could see Warner’s eyes shining with the same kind of determination I felt boiling beneath my skin. Like we were connected, two beings entirely one and the same. “Good idea,” was all he said. I couldn’t help but agree.

“If I’m going to be sacrificing my safety it’s only fair.”

Emmaline scoffed. “You’ll be perfectly fine. It isn’t my fault if your psyche is so fragile that the thought of being powerless for a second is so terrifying that you’ll piss yourself. I would’ve thought Anderson raised you better than that, huh?”

 _Low blow_. I clenched my teeth, “You’re the one that wanted a deal. Besides, all I want is an IOU, one free favor whenever I please. That isn’t that far off from what I’d be doing for you is it?”

She considered this, shifting her weight from leg to leg. I knew it was an act. Emmaline rarely changed her mind after it had already been made up. But as was the nature of her ability, she could see multiple steps ahead of every person in the room. Even Warner, who could copy her telepathy like a mirror image, didn’t have the practice it took to completely structure every possibility in seconds like Emmaline could. I only knew she could do this because we had once been children. We had once shared everything with each other.

“A favor if you win, a favor if I win.” She nodded to herself and adjusted the gloves on her hands. “Fine.”

“It’s agreed then?” Warner said.

If I wasn’t so on edge I would’ve smiled, but instead I just said, “If you’re done then I’m ready to kick your ass.”

Emmaline winked before dropping into a similar position, except her body was slanted to the side. I recognized it as the style Nazeera favored. I had less experience fighting with Nazeera then I did with Emmaline and I could tell that without picking my brain, my sister had known this. But it didn’t matter, Emmaline was a strong opponent, but I was built for battle. I was a weapon, through and through. Dangerous. Lethal.

“I’ll call it.” Warner said from the sideline, “Best two out of three.”

The room crackled as I felt the frequencies pick up on our bodies tensing. I knew that Emmaline could feel the currents, sometimes even hear them, but she couldn’t see them like I could. If I really focused. There was a winding band around my sister that spanned the entire room and beyond. Anywhere her power had touched the frequencies would linger like a cat lounging in the sun. Even Warner’s own ability hung in the air like a banner, same as my own. The three brushed against each other, making the large room look that much smaller. But I couldn’t afford to be overwhelmed. Or else mother dearest would take all this away. The way I perceived the world. The shield that had kept me protected from the Reestablishment’s worst attacks.

“Start.”

We had never been similar, but in this second, Emmaline felt like an echo of myself. Maybe we weren’t twins, but I wouldn’t believe it far off that our souls were. Cut from the same cloth. Foils.

She sprung forward at the same moment as me. Our forearms collided and the frequencies sparked, irritated from the lack of contact. My powers pulsed from beneath clothing. I repressed it, swiftly. The last thing I needed was Emmaline calling forfeit because I had cheated. Her leg spun out and knocked my shin, but with a twist I threw myself to the other end of the mat. Emmaline circled me like a lion. I didn’t give her time to pounce, pushing myself back to my full height and striking out with a well-timed punch that brushed her cheek but didn’t make contact and another that she ducked beneath.

Emmaline turned to the side and with a sharp jab, hit me between the lungs.

The punch didn’t register. I let out a breath and felt my body collect the pressure and dissipate it. Emmaline narrowed her eyes and dodged backwards, out of range of a well-purposed kick that I flung in her direction. I wasn’t naive enough to think Emmaline couldn’t take me down even when my invincibility was active. I also didn’t put it past her to play dirty.

As we circled each other once more I made note of my mental facilities. The usual wrapping sensation that I felt when Emmaline was inside my head wasn’t present. I kept my eyes on the frequencies that I could feel hanging in the air around us, I wondered if she was keeping tabs on them as well. It would make sense, while Emmaline wasn’t nearly as sensitive to the frequencies as I am, she relied on them just as much for her ability to work properly. Which meant—

Knuckles hit my nose with bruising force.

I braced myself against the ground and swung out with my own forearm, pushing Emmaline away from my face where she’d gotten too close. As I twisted away from her, she righted herself in her starting position. One foot in front of the other with enough timing for me to knock her kick out of the way and counter by grabbing her leg and pushing her back. She fell to the mat and rolled back onto her feet.

I gritted my teeth, my powers were dulled without the connection to skin. Her hit had honestly taken me by surprise. I knew in the back of my head that Warner would be drilling that mistake into my skull for years to come.

Emmaline huffed from across from me. It was obvious at this point that we were in a stalemate. Maybe we weren’t entirely on par, I was inclined to believe that Emmaline was better at combat than I was. But with the added help of my ability there wasn’t a way for her to properly land a hit on me. Which kept her at a disadvantage and there was nothing she could do to combat that. Maybe the rules should have been better clarified. She smiled at me and my body tensed.

She crouched in a moment and her legs spun out at me, I wasn’t quick enough to stop her from tripping me, so my back slammed into the mat underneath me. Before I could climb back to my feet, my sister grabbed my legs and held me down. As she attempted to grab my torso, I used my unnatural strength to use her momentum against her, pulling us to the side. I swung my fist at her head and hit her ear that left a ringing even I could hear. Her elbow cut up against my chin as we rolled across the side of the mat.

It was almost ridiculous how we slid away from each other, crawling off our bellies and onto our knees. And then the air changed. It was like a breeze, but tinged with electricity. I reacted before Emmaline could fully warp my mind in anyway.

My hands slammed together and then into the floor, sending a wave towards her that pushed her onto her back. She sat up as I stood, her eyes wild and angry. I flexed my fingers waiting for a psychological attack. That’s why I didn’t see the metal bar falling until it crashed into me, pressing me to the floor. She was damn lucky that I was made of something stronger than steel, because the impact would have killed anyone else. I reached out a palm and sent a pole in her direction. Emmaline deflected it easily.

I couldn’t beat her in a battle of telekinesis. So I gripped the metal that held me to the floor and ripped it in too, freeing myself. She sent more objects flying, the frequencies picking up as my own spun to protect me. I stopped weights and benches in their tracks, only a few of the larger objects hit my chest with enough force to push me back a couple of inches. But nothing else sent me to the ground. She wouldn’t catch me by surprise again.

“That’s what you think.” Her voice registered too late.

Her jab was timed, as soon as I held out my hands to push back the large piece of metal she’d sent hurling at me, her fist connected with the back of my head. The pain was instant and overwhelming, it was all I could do not to crumple to the ground and admit defeat. But in the back of my mind I remembered what I had put on the line, I felt the weight of that decision resonate and fall backward with enough force to grab my sister by the waist and knock her down with me. It was a poor decision, a terrible one. My palms grasped the sides of her face and knocked the back of her skull against the mat until the collision was too much.

Her free hands, which had reached out to stop me, now held aloft. They coaxed her from my own, I could feel myself slipping as she filtered through my thoughtless head.

Emmaline’s tone was rough. “ _Enough_ , that’s enough. Are you listening, Ella?”

“Yes.” I barely managed, settling back on my knees.

Emmaline stayed on the ground. After a moment I felt her frequencies slip out of my head and settle back against her as if assessing the damage my own had done. The shame and guilt of how I’d won started to claw its way up my throat. But before I could speak, Emmaline’s hand grasped my own with a comforting squeeze. My sister, though a truly awful human being, would still love me. Even if I was a monster. Even if I was a monster to her.

“That’s enough.” She whispered, “You won. It was my fault for using telekinesis first.”

We sat in silence for a moment before Warner entered my field of vision. There wasn’t an ounce of worry on his face, but I could see through it. I didn’t have to read the frequencies or have telepathy to understand what he was thinking, feeling. I looked back to Emmaline as she finally rose. There was a breathless air about her.

“No, I’m just at fault as you.”

Emmaline raised an eyebrow. “Then who wins the bet?”

“No one does.” Warner answered.

We both looked to him as he spoke. Emmaline crossed her arms, “That complicates things.”

“No one wins.” He stepped closer, “This match was never about the bet, it was about you both trying to prove something to each other because you’re stubborn and can’t be bothered to have a civil conversation.”

Emmaline scoffed, “You’re one to talk about being stubborn.”

I looked down at my hands, blocking out the both of them, still unsettled by my own lapse in control. Two weapons of mass destruction that no sane person should be given access too. Sometimes I felt too powerful for me. Like I would destroy everything I touched, even the things I loved. But what was the alternative? Without this power I was vulnerable to the people I had wronged. And not only that but I couldn’t protect the people I needed to.

What use was I to Emmaline if I couldn’t crack the world in two.

They watched me now, listening in without really meaning too. Warner’s face dissolved into something no longer lacking in emotion, something worried almost, like he was considering picking me up and taking me far away from the thoughts that plagued me. I recalled our conversation from the night before. I turned to my sister.

“He’s right.”

She rolled her eyes, “Of course he is.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Emma. I hate that.” I said. “I won’t go with you and you don’t owe me anything. We’re even, now you can go home and start scheming.”

Emmaline stretched her arms above her head, trying to look at ease but the tension in her muscles settled. Her nonchalance was exhausting. Why couldn’t we just be honest with each other for once? I knew why, this was a competition. It always was between us. Who would break first. 

“Is that what you think I do? Scheme?” She said, finally.

“Am I wrong?”

She considered this before shrugging. “Not really.” Then she walked off the mat to find her water bottle.

I only realized she was giving me a minute to collect myself when Warner appeared behind me, his hand wrapped around my elbow, drawing my attention back to him. Most of the worry that fluttered around him had shifted away, but there was the ghost of it in the back of his mind. I could tell from the flicker in his eyes, the shape of his shoulders heaved over slightly. He really did have fantastic posture.

“Yes?” I prompted.

He shook his head and brought a hand up to run his fingers through my hair. I cringed, not from the contact, but because I was sure to be drenched in a sheen of sweat. My hair would not have survived. He noticed and dropped his hand, palm up so I could take it in my own. I did, and gave it a squeeze before looking back to my sister who was pointedly ignoring us.

I bit my lip. “When are you leaving?”

“Now,” she said. Then amended, “Whenever I want to.”

“So, now, then?”

Emmaline collected her things and walked back over to us. Just like Warner, she never did anything by halves. It was always with purpose. “Better now then later, yeah? Nothing’s going to get done the longer I wait.”

“That sounded like you’re pointing a finger at me.”

“You’ve never been good at fulfilling tasks,” my chest tightened. “That’s not news to anyone. Just make sure Anderson never catches on that you use your work time for less productive habits.” She looked pointedly at Warner, who stayed collected somehow as she breezed past us.

“I’ll call you.” I watch as she gets in the elevator. Her face is blank and emotionless. She’s feeling too much, nothing at all, even Warner seems to zero in on her. “Fly safe.”

“Don’t bother. If something happens you’ll see me again soon.”

And then she’s gone. Granted, she’s still in the building, but she’s already making plans hundreds of thousands of miles away. I’d forgotten how easily Emmaline walks in and out of my life like she’s a supporting character and not one of the most important people to me. We never even got to have a conversation. The air goes sour.

“You could still catch her.” Warner tells me gently.

“And what would that do?” I shook my head. “Emma doesn’t do heartfelt conversations. We both know that.”

“She would if you asked.”

I looked back at him, try not to focus on how empty the room is without her. “Aaron, no.” 

He understands, because of course he does. He can read my heart easier than I can, so he folds me into his arms. And instead of thinking about how my sweat is bleeding into his dress shirt, all I can think about is how I’m relieved.

For a moment, she was going to win. I could tell that I was on my last legs. If she’d broken me down I would be on the plane with her. Flying off to be placed neatly in the manicured hands of my mother. The closest woman in the world to the Devil. She was going to rip me apart the next time she saw me. I knew that for a fact. With Canary, she might actually manage to.

“She won’t touch you.”

I pulled away just enough to give him a tired smile. “No, she won’t.”


End file.
